po-po wednesday

Kind of a grey morning today, but as I made my way to The Office, I saw a welcome sight.

A friendly police cruiser decided to join me for the morning commute.  He indiscreetly planted himself right on the shoulder of Crazy Driver Boulevard.  It was all I could do to discreetly snap a pic.

Since winter arrived, the motorcycle cops have been shelved, and I don't get as much po-presence.  So I think it's nice of them to come around once in a while.  A year or so ago, they unveiled this marvelous MTU (Mobile Traffic Unit).  It's a high-tech van equipped with radar and cameras that snaps photos of speeders.

They gleefully set it up at "my" crosswalk, and the wonderful MTU commenced to... malfunction.  It was concluded that the power lines (that apparently are cooking my insides daily) at the crosswalk were interfering with the onboard electronics.

Alas, back to the old school way of doing things.

But really, I prefer things that way.  A human rather than an electronic device.  Take that however you see fit.
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fine doubled

School's been in session for a little over a month now.  I don't know what the what's going on, but I've had traffic cops with me for 3 days in the last week of crossing guard zone.  I stealthily snapped a pic of Mr. MoCop this morning so as to share how pretty he is atop his shiny motorcycle in his crisp black uniform (RAWR!)

Can you even find him?

As you can, I think, see, he's not at all sneaky.  These are not speed traps.  He sits in plain view of traffic from both directions, and this usually results in good behavior from the motorists, which is all the two of us want!

Still, he chased down three perps in about 30 minutes... pretty much the going rate during good behavior times.

I happen to know that the previous crossing guard left the job because of "anger issues".  It was a mutual decision between her and the school to leave the crosswalk.  She is still a beloved employee of the school, just in a happier position for everyone involved.

I admit that careless/distracted drivers piss me off bother me somewhat.  But I think one thing that keeps me from going all road rage is that I totally expect the careless/distracted drivers.  They are there every day, how can I not?

This morning, after the good behavior shift with my MoCop, I was crossing the street to go back home, since we live on the school-side of the crosswalk.  In fact, we purposely chose that neighborhood so OUR kids wouldn't have to cross this street to get to school.

As I approached my side of the street, a car came barelling down the hill from my right.  It was almost like seeing me in the hideous vest in the crosswalk egged him on to assert his superior I'm-in-a-car-and-you're-not-so-you-better-get-the-&%$^#-outta-my-way position.  In fact, I think he was so focused on buzzing me, that he didn't see Mr. MoCop.

I wasn't fazed.  I had my eyes on him as I continued to walk at my casual pace, thinking, "Oh,  you so don't want to do this".

It wasn't even a pursuit.  It was more of an interception as Mr. MoCop pulled out and brought that snotty little sedan to a stop.

I wanted to hug him.
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a moment

We had a moment.

Yes, the motorcycle cop.  He shows up at my crosswalk.  I never know when, I just arrive and he's there.  Or not.  He likes to keep me guessing.

Our torrid affair has been going on for months now.  I still remember our first encounter.  Him in his shiny helmet with his... his... his... motorcycle.  Oh, the SOUND it makes!  And before I know it, he's got the lights going.  The FLASHING lights!  He'll chase one speeder down and just a few minutes later, he's ready for MORE!  Sometimes 2 or 3 times in one shift!

He completes me.

So I'm there yesterday, all busy with kids, when out of the corner of my eye... I see him.  He's there.  He's there, yet not there.  No, he's there.  It's different.  He's on a different corner.  Just watching.  Watching.  Oh, the way he watches.

In a few minutes, I've managed to clear the area of kids.  It's just me now, by the button.  He approaches

.

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He speaks!  For the first time since our trysts began, he speaks.  To me!  Usually it's all done with the eyes, with hand gestures, words have not been necessary and yet, my heart...  I listen with my heart more than with my ears...

He speaks of TRAFFIC, of SCHOOL LET-OUT TIMES, of  DISTANCES. 
Oh, his indulgence!  It's so stimulating, I can't help but respond! 

Before I know it, I'm talking TRAFFIC PATTERNS, divulging NUMBERS OF CHILDREN.  The WHEN, the WHO, I can't stop!

And then... and THEN... he pulls out his... his... his... RADAR GUN!  Right there for all to see!  I'm speechless by that point.

It beeps - 10 m.p.h. over the limit, and off he goes. 

Off he goes...

how will I tell the milkman?

Okay, so we know how I got that world's bravest crossing guard job a little over a month ago. A little background:

This particular school crossing is a notoriously dangerous one in our area. It's 5 to 6 lanes of popular east/west commuter route. A reduced speed zone of about 350 feet is in place during the morning and afternoon school commute times.

But still, they speed.

Despite the fluourscent green signs, despite the white stuff painted on the roads, despite the flashing lights... they speed. I didn't realize how bad it was until I became world's bravest crossing guard.

And it's not just the pedestrian kids to worry about. Naturally, there is noticable increased motor traffic during before and after school. Many left turns a-happening into and out of the street leading to the school. In my short time there, I have witnessed many near misses and am actually surprised to have not yet had an actual incident.

The school safety committee has squeaked the police department's wheel plenty of times to give a little help. They are certainly sympathetic, but with budget cuts and such, they can only do so much. And frankly, I'd just as soon they put murderers, rapists and child molesters as a higher priority anyway.

That said, they do occassionally drive by my post a couple of times during duty. This helps a bit, but this afternoon... Oh THIS AFTERNOON, a couple of totally hawt motorcycle cops came over and set up shop at the side street just across the street from me. Yeah, you know 'em. Black shiny helmets, black cool motorcycle cop jackets, shiny white Harley's... oh baby.

Within 3 minutes, they'd each nabbed a criminal.

As if that wasn't sweet enough, one was an SUV, the other, ... omg omg... a minivan. MINIVAN!

And I am suddenly maddeningly overflowingly bursting with love.
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