Wednesday, February 16, 2011

how will I tell the milkman?

Okay, so we know how I got that world's bravest crossing guard job a little over a month ago. A little background:

This particular school crossing is a notoriously dangerous one in our area. It's 5 to 6 lanes of popular east/west commuter route. A reduced speed zone of about 350 feet is in place during the morning and afternoon school commute times.

But still, they speed.

Despite the fluourscent green signs, despite the white stuff painted on the roads, despite the flashing lights... they speed. I didn't realize how bad it was until I became world's bravest crossing guard.

And it's not just the pedestrian kids to worry about. Naturally, there is noticable increased motor traffic during before and after school. Many left turns a-happening into and out of the street leading to the school. In my short time there, I have witnessed many near misses and am actually surprised to have not yet had an actual incident.

The school safety committee has squeaked the police department's wheel plenty of times to give a little help. They are certainly sympathetic, but with budget cuts and such, they can only do so much. And frankly, I'd just as soon they put murderers, rapists and child molesters as a higher priority anyway.

That said, they do occassionally drive by my post a couple of times during duty. This helps a bit, but this afternoon... Oh THIS AFTERNOON, a couple of totally hawt motorcycle cops came over and set up shop at the side street just across the street from me. Yeah, you know 'em. Black shiny helmets, black cool motorcycle cop jackets, shiny white Harley's... oh baby.

Within 3 minutes, they'd each nabbed a criminal.

As if that wasn't sweet enough, one was an SUV, the other, ... omg omg... a minivan. MINIVAN!

And I am suddenly maddeningly overflowingly bursting with love.


  1. So glad to hear you had some assistance from the good guys for a change. Although, I AM feeling a little sorry for the milkman. You heart-breaker, you.

  2. How do you know they weren't there to check out the new hawt crossing guard?

    I love it when the cops bust people that fly through school zones. Wish it happened more often. I have absolutely zero tolerance for those idiots. Good to see you now have back up.

  3. That is hilarious! Looking at the photo, I thought it was of a wreck you had (simply because it's your blog)--so I'm relieved it wasn't!

    And the rest of it makes sense--ties in with "How will I tell the milkman?"!

    For some reason, I'm reminded of a joke a professor of mine used as an example of a paradigm:

    What are the three words you least want to hear when you're making love?

    "Honey, I'm home!"