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Friday, May 27, 2022

kids, I tellya

He's not the first childhood friend I remember, but one of the first and most lasting. I distinctly remember hanging out with Daniel since first grade and all the way through high school.  

I mainly think of him as being a bit wild and adventurous. Ours was a small town, and I think we all knew he was gay from early on. But sexual preference wasn't discussed much back then other than to be teased and bullied, and he got bullied a lot.

But he had a flair for drama and liked attention. Honestly, he wasn't all that talented, but he was so confident and bold that it didn't matter. I remember him doing an oil painting of a prominent feature in our hometown, maybe before we were even in high school.  It looked rightfully amateurish, but he framed it and strode into big furniture store in the heart of downtown and asked the owner to display his painting in the window.  I can still see that rather ghastly painting sitting prominently among the furniture display for a good week or more. 

The two of us hung out a lot while growing up despite our many differences such as:

  • He was the 6th child out of 7 in a large, loud Catholic family.  My family was subdued in comparison, and I have two older brothers.
  • He struggled academically and was a class clown. I was a "good kid" who got good grades and participated in clubs and sports and stuff. 

Honestly, he was not the best influence on me. With him, I ditched classes, drove a car before really knowing how to drive, traipsed around on unsafe river ice, and other things it's best my parents never knew.

He was highly creative, and our art geekiness was the glue to our friendship.  By the time we were in 8th grade, he and I were somehow enrolled in an art "class" established just for us at school - then known as junior high - where he and I were basically TAs for the art teacher. I honestly don't remember how that came about, but there we were in a highly unstructured environment at the ripe age of 13.

HS art club 
Abby - front row, second from left
Daniel - front row, far right


It was like Art School Confidential, the two of us just having our way with all the art supplies for an hour or so each school day.  As for hall passes and teacher permissions? PffffT! The art teacher was a rather stereotypical public school art teacher - not much for structure and protocol.

Our paths diverged a bit in high school, but we still often hung out.  He'd discovered marijuana which added more fuel to his non-conformist fire. But he never drank, wouldn't touch the stuff. Both his parents were alcoholics, and he wanted nothing to do with booze. We lost touch after high school.

We managed to touch base a few years ago and we friended each other on fbook as people do. Sometimes he would rant incoherently about politics, and I eventually removed him from my feed. He ultimately left the platform, either willingly or was kicked out. 

In recent years, I've received linkedin.com invites from him to connect.  Not personal invites, but ones that look like he just clicked the option to send invites to anyone and everyone he might remotely know on linkedin. 

His linkedin profile is characteristically strange, filled with grammatical errors, and, I think (hope), sarcasm. I ignore the requests.

I got a text from him a few weeks ago. He seems better. He told me how he moved back to our hometown, hoping to open a fine dining restaurant but has struggled with various things regarding the hometown.  I'm not surprised, our hometown has "issues".

But being there jogged his memories of our childhood adventures and inspired him to contact me. His texts mention his gratefulness to God for various blessings. Over all the years I've known him, he's vacillated between extreme bible thumper and zealous atheist.  Apparently he's in a bible thumper phase now.  Will it last?

I've enjoyed our texting conversations, remembering who we were back then - naive kids exploring the boonies, frolicking in our freedoms. 

It was Daniel I called upon when my HS boyfriend turned up the drama. And it was Daniel I called upon that fateful day when I needed to break into a neighbor's house. He was the obvious life line. I reminded him, last week, of that particular breaking-and-entering adventure. 

He remembered it well and replied, "That's what happens when you have an Italian gangster as a best friend".

That's what happens.

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Linking up this week with Mama Kat for the prompt:

5. Tell us about the first childhood friend you remember. Do you still keep in touch?



8 comments:

Linda Sue said...

Every good girl needs a friend like that! You were so lucky and I am glad you found him again even though he is going through a "phase".

Abby said...

Linda Sue, you're right. He was a good yang to my yin.

betty said...

I enjoyed reading about your friendship with Daniel, Abby, from when you were younger to now with the gaps in staying in touch, etc. I never had a male friend like this so it does sound a bit adventurous to me. It is a good thing the things you did together that had a bit of a "mischief" to it didn't land either of you into too much serious trouble :) I did identify you in the picture before I read your caption of where you were. I think it is sometimes good to stay in touch or reconnect with friends from our younger days. Next month when we go on a short jaunt to San Diego, we'll be having lunch with my best friend from high school. We haven't seen each other in over 40 years :)

betty

Abby said...

Betty, how fun for you and your high school chum!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Wow Dan is a character. How great to have a friend like that. You both learned a lot from one another, good and bad🙂
I had to laugh when you said he was from a loud catholic family...my first thought was, probably Italian American, then at the end you said that. That's how I describe my family. Lol

Abby said...

Peggy, I bet you would've fit right in with Daniel's family!

KatBouska said...

High school was this sort of magical age where we had so much in common with our friends. Our common enemy was authority and school and our common goal was fun. I sometimes miss the friendships I had back then before time and distance and responsibilities had their way with us.

Abby said...

Kat, well said!