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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Silver Liningness Sunday

I'm grateful for many things this week.  But I guess, in general, I'm just grateful for life itself.  What a roller coaster ride it can be.  A wise man once told me, "Heaven sounds boring.  All our needs are met?  It sounds like a nursing home."

So as difficult and sad as life can sometimes be, I'm grateful for it.  It's what makes us human, I suppose.  And along with the difficulties come the many blessings.

Like Mom, such a blessing.  She quietly passed away early Saturday morning, such a loss.  She would have been 87 years old in a few weeks.

She'd been struggling with failing health for the last several months.  During my more recent visits, although responsive and never senile, she was always so tired, and slept a lot.  She and my dad had to move into their local nursing home last winter.  Dad is the "wise man" quoted above.

My mom is a native of the Philippines.  She met my dad during WWII, and they eventually moved to the states.  She once joked to me (although I'm not sure it was fully a joke) that she married Dad because she wanted a refrigerator.   I can vouch for my dad that he did, in fact, get her a few fridges.

She had no formal education beyond the eighth grade, but that never limited her achievements.  She raised us three kids, made many lasting friendships, worked devotedly at her job, and was an outstanding bridge player. She was invited to join P.E.O when I was four years old and has been my role model for my own charitable activities.

So although this was not an unexpected event, it's a final reminder of how much I was already missing Mom.  I look forward to the day when she and I can, once again, meet for lunch and go shopping.

The silver linings are that she was the best mom I could have asked for, and I believe she is happily home.




"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
                                                                             ~Rudyard Kipling


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17 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh I'm so sorry Abby. What beautiful lady too. I can relate to this post. Last week whilst I was in the States my Dad was taken into hospital. His health is slowly fading away, and I don't know how long he'll be around for, and I know just how you feel.

I'm glad your mom was such a wonderful mother, and yes I believe one day you'll see her again, in fact you know Heaven is outside of time, so are already together.

Abby said...

Thank you, Joey, that's quite comforting. Hugs to you and your dad.

ShadowRun300 said...

Aw Abby, I'm so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful lady! As I read this, I realized I didn't know much about her. Thanks for sharing!
You always seem to handle life's events, whether tough or easy, with such grace and acceptance. Have I ever told you how much I admire that?
Hugs to you and all the AbbyNormals. Expected or not, it's still sad. The finality of it is what was so difficult for me. You are lucky to have had such a wonderful role model.

terri said...

Your mom was obviously a beautiful woman, inside and out. I've known from some of the things you've written that you've been worried for a while, and even though her passing wasn't entirely unexpected, I know it's still difficult. I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Anita said...

There's nothing like having a "mama." I'm happy for you - that you had her for many years. My prayer is that your boys will have their mom even longer. Their grandmother's love and spirit has surely come through you. What a gift for you and for them.

You've honored her well on this post. Blessings.

agg79 said...

I am so very sorry Abby. We sometimes tend to take the blessings we have for granted at times and never really miss them until they are gone. As our loved ones age, it may be inevitable, but we are never truly prepared for this. Your mom was a wonderful role model and raised an amazing family. Our prayers for you and your family at this time.

Linda Hensley said...

What a beautiful memorial to your mother. You've always mentioned her with love and you were obviously lucky to have her. She lives on in you and through your sons through her examples, and that seems to me to be a life well lived. My thoughts are with you and yours, and especially to your dad.

Abby said...

Kind words, thanks. I know that we each have our own unique relationships with our mothers, and I've seen some bad ones. Just makes me all the more grateful for my mom.

Abby said...

Thanks, Terri. Yes, it was "nice" to have some warning, but we're never fully ready.

Abby said...

Aw, thanks, Anita. and you're absolutely right. I'm sad to lose her, but that's just a reflection of the wonderful "mama" she was.

Abby said...

Thank you Agg. It is difficult to watch someone once so vibrant become so frail, but I appreciate that I had her as long as I did.

Abby said...

Thanks, Linda. She set the bar high for me, and I'll do my best to carry on her example.

Junky's Running Dry said...

So sorry to hear your news. Thoughts and prayers with you.

Ginny said...

So sorry about your mother's passing. She seems like a beautiful woman inside and out. I feel like even when a loved one's health starts fading it's still a shock when they do pass.

Riot Kitty said...

I'm so sorry - what a beautiful tribute. And what a beauty!

Practical Parsimony said...

I am so sorry about your mother. Even though she is dead, I envy you because you had your mother for about 20 more years than I had mine. She died in 1993, and I still cry for wanting her.

Rebecca S. said...

Dear Abby, I'm sorry I have not been around much. I have been reading through all your January posts and was so sad to hear you lost your mom, but happy to know she was so loved and respected by you and your dad. Thanks so much for sharing your stories of her.
We also lost a friend/acquaintance just before Christmas. He was diagnose with lung cancer sort of out of the blue and then died a few weeks later. Life is such a precious thing and these events show us how important it is to be a good friend to others and to love our families just a little bit better.
Sending love and positive vibes your way xoxo