I wore a hideous bonnet

We were cast as lovers in the school's production.  Young lovers.  Planning a future together.

He looked so dashing.  His clean hair just so beneath the bowler hat.  His mustache neatly groomed.  He wore a garter on one of his ample biceps, over his crisp button-down shirt.

Frank.

As the also-rans sang "A Bicycle Built for Two", Frank pedaled onto the stage, me situated behind him.  Our number was a roaring success, the audience completely ate it up.  We were just so believable.

Of course we were.  We were so believable because, off-stage, we were actual lovers.  Well, as much as a couple of first graders could be anyways.

Frank was my first crush.  We even got married later that year during a lovely afternoon recess affair.  Another friend served as Chaplain and also provided the punch - saved from lunchtime for the occasion.   Alas, it turned out our friend wasn't an actual ordained minister, so my marriage to Frank was never official.  It was annulled by the afternoon bell.

But we'll always have that magical bicycle ride - which was actually on a tricycle that I had to stand on the back of - around the stage.

The story of Frank and me isn't very unique.  Many of our first budding "romances" happened shortly after we went out into the big world of elementary school.  Several crushes later, I made it to the halls of higher education where I met Magnum.  The rest is history, and our 23rd anniversary is this week.

I have not, however, remained immune to the assorted celebrity crush.  As someone has said - who was it that said it? - we can't choose whom we fall in love with.

I mention this now for another of Mama Kat's prompts:  5.) First crush.     And since I felt my own first crush was pretty run-of-the-mill, I'm taking the next step.

Magnum is aware of each of my post-marital crushes.  I confess to them on the blog now, knowing that readers will refrain from going all tabloid on me.


In the early '90s, I fell for Marky Mark.  The rapper with the rap sheet to go along, and those baggy jeans.  Of course, it wouldn't work out between us.  I was married to a good responsible man who left his shirt on when outside the house.

When it ended, Marky Mark transformed to the responsible, clothing wearing, no more Boston accent, Mark Wahlberg.

Oh well, we'll always have our underwear pictures.

This may come as a surprise to many, but I later developed a crush on Johnny Depp.  Yeah, I know.  Strange.

We managed to keep things platonic, however.  I do occasionally accompany him to awards shows because he has a hard time finding any other women that want to go with him.







I may have mentioned here before, my cougar crush on Shia Labeouf.  He's obviously too young for me.  Is he even out of his 20's yet??

That's okay.  I still let him buy me coffee sometimes.  Very grownup.






So there they are, my crush confessions.

For those who may be wondering, Frank and I are still friends, in touch through the magic of facebook, where we might wish each other happy birthday or something.

.