Well, here we go. School starts for Meego in a week and a half, right about the time Wolfgang moves into his dorm, right about the time Chaco moves into his apartment/dorm. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm no Helicopter Mom.
My parenting style is more... Tank Girl
Today was Grizzled Jumpstart day at Meego's middle school. It's just a (pseudo)nym for go-to-the-school-among-the-throngs-and-find-your-schedule-and-locker-and-then-get-back-out-alive. So we did that.
I'm so glad I have boys. It took us all of about 10 minutes to take care of business. In the meantime I saw countless girls cutting and primping and getting their lockers all just so very One Direction-esque. There were a few Helicopter Moms standing in the middle of the hallways - comparing schedules and conniving to optimize everything around their kids - as efficient people had to flow around to accomodate their static bodies.
I believe that one of my main goals as a parent is to work myself out of a job, and for the most part, that seems to be going about right. It sometimes seems, though, that their brains go on vacation during these school breaks. Like they're almost toddlers again, dependent. This is a testing time of year, but I'm staying out of the helicopter.
Yesterday, Chaco negotiated his way into using the Civic for two days to go camping with some other carless friends. He'd made sure that Wolfgang didn't need it for work, they'd gas it up, etc. etc. I gave the okay.
So this morning, Wolfgang leaves on his bicycle and then Magnum takes off for work. There went the Civic, down the street. And then I'm all, "Wait a min... wasn't Chaco...?" *sigh*
I start thinking. Maybe (a) Chaco and his friends changed their plans, (b) Magnum forgot, or (c) Chaco never mentioned anything to Magnum. Should I quick call Magnum? But then I think, no. That's what Helicopter Mom would do, and I'm Tank Girl. Let them swim their way out of it.
Magnum carpools to work. His office is about a 30-minute drive from home. Heck if I had an hour laying around to go swap out the Civic because of something with which I had nothing to do. Plus, I had Grizzled Jumpstart followed by a tutor girl today.
There was a chance, however, that it wasn't Magnum's turn to drive the carpool, in which case the Civic would be happily resting at the nearby Park 'n' Ride. I would happily help make the exchange there, but I would leave it to Chaco to find out. I wipe my hands at the whole thing until then! (All this ruminating in my head as Chaco slept.) Then I made myself stop fretting over it anymore.
I was good. I was a good Tank Girl. I busied myself with my own stuff.
Turns out it was a combination of (a), (b), and (c). The camping wasn't quite coming together, Chaco forgot to mention anything to Magnum. Fine, they'd just use the Civic tomorrow and hang out in Manitou.
Works for me. Now, I've just got to last a couple of more weeks, fighting the urge to...
Wish me luck.
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19 comments:
I LIKE the name Tank Girl. It sounds a lot better than my former "The Gestapo".
I have to admit, when the kids were little, I was a helicopter mom. Eventually it became very stressful to micromanage four children, and I was finally convinced to back off and let them work things out on their own, suffering the consequences if necessary. I then became such a "Tank Girl" mom that my daughter claims she's raised herself. (And she's done a fine job of it, I might add.)
You're exactly right, the best moms are the ones who work themselves out of a job. I sometimes feel guilty that I'm not involved in every aspect of their life, but it's much more beneficial to them (and me) if I'm not.
Good luck these next two weeks - although I'm quite sure you won't need it. You've got this 'mom' thing down pat!
Will you have your own Grizzly Jumpstart day before YOUR school starts?
Wishing you luck! And I think Tank Girl should be your superpower name.
Glad to hear you are not a helicopter mom. I can totally see you as tank girl. My wife did have a tendency to hover a bit and there were a few times I thought i was going to have to taser her to let junior go off and learn/fail on his own. Still, junior did wind up ok and I don't think we screwed him up too much. God job, mom.
Ironic in that "Tank Girl to the Rescue!" actually means "Don't Do Anything!" -- which can be the hardest path to take when you KNOW their plan is incomplete or falling apart.
Good to know at least ONE artillery troop is trying to work herself out of a job!
Codependent you are not! Good for you.
It's so much better if we pick our own titles.
I NEED a Grizzly Jumpstart! Got any One Direction pinups I can have?
I think so too. Done!
Ha! Laughing at you tasing your wife. It does sometimes take effort to hold back, resulting in a newly sprouted grey hair or two.
I'm trying to also work myself out of "washwoman", but that's not going so well.
I try to go with sink-or-swim, but sometimes the latent lifeguard tries to come forward.
Grey hair or 2???
The taser bit "is" funny! Especially when I put the vision in my head.
I'm sure I've done some helicoptering, but not much; just don't have the energy.
I'm more into brainwashing, i.e. quotes to the kids like: You will NOT be living here at 30 years old! And, Manage your life, otherwise, someone else will manage it for you!
They think I'm wired.
I think you're on target, Tank Girl! :)
I seem to remember that I couldn't wait to have my independence when I was their ages. Were my parents just good brainwashers or what??
Much as I hate to admit it, I might have been a bit more helicopter-y than I'd like anyone to know. Middle kid might never have graduated if I'd eased up at all. But aside from that, the other two kids made it easy enough to be hands-off.
It can be HARD to not to hover sometimes though...right?
I like the name, Tank Girl. Personally, I was known as She-Rah for quite a while there.
Same here!
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