Thursday, August 8, 2013

I wore a hideous bonnet

We were cast as lovers in the school's production.  Young lovers.  Planning a future together.

He looked so dashing.  His clean hair just so beneath the bowler hat.  His mustache neatly groomed.  He wore a garter on one of his ample biceps, over his crisp button-down shirt.


As the also-rans sang "A Bicycle Built for Two", Frank pedaled onto the stage, me situated behind him.  Our number was a roaring success, the audience completely ate it up.  We were just so believable.

Of course we were.  We were so believable because, off-stage, we were actual lovers.  Well, as much as a couple of first graders could be anyways.

Frank was my first crush.  We even got married later that year during a lovely afternoon recess affair.  Another friend served as Chaplain and also provided the punch - saved from lunchtime for the occasion.   Alas, it turned out our friend wasn't an actual ordained minister, so my marriage to Frank was never official.  It was annulled by the afternoon bell.

But we'll always have that magical bicycle ride - which was actually on a tricycle that I had to stand on the back of - around the stage.

The story of Frank and me isn't very unique.  Many of our first budding "romances" happened shortly after we went out into the big world of elementary school.  Several crushes later, I made it to the halls of higher education where I met Magnum.  The rest is history, and our 23rd anniversary is this week.

I have not, however, remained immune to the assorted celebrity crush.  As someone has said - who was it that said it? - we can't choose whom we fall in love with.

I mention this now for another of Mama Kat's prompts:  5.) First crush.     And since I felt my own first crush was pretty run-of-the-mill, I'm taking the next step.

Magnum is aware of each of my post-marital crushes.  I confess to them on the blog now, knowing that readers will refrain from going all tabloid on me.

In the early '90s, I fell for Marky Mark.  The rapper with the rap sheet to go along, and those baggy jeans.  Of course, it wouldn't work out between us.  I was married to a good responsible man who left his shirt on when outside the house.

When it ended, Marky Mark transformed to the responsible, clothing wearing, no more Boston accent, Mark Wahlberg.

Oh well, we'll always have our underwear pictures.

This may come as a surprise to many, but I later developed a crush on Johnny Depp.  Yeah, I know.  Strange.

We managed to keep things platonic, however.  I do occasionally accompany him to awards shows because he has a hard time finding any other women that want to go with him.

I may have mentioned here before, my cougar crush on Shia Labeouf.  He's obviously too young for me.  Is he even out of his 20's yet??

That's okay.  I still let him buy me coffee sometimes.  Very grownup.

So there they are, my crush confessions.

For those who may be wondering, Frank and I are still friends, in touch through the magic of facebook, where we might wish each other happy birthday or something.



  1. You've been around the block a time or two, haven't ya. I can see how you'd dump 'em all for Magnum though. When it comes down to it, a good family man is what we're all looking for.
    My guy and I will be married 23 years in March and we're already planning our big trip. You know - the one we were going to take after 5 years of marriage. I think we'll really do it this time though since it's our Golden Anniversary - 23 years on the 23rd. :)
    Anyway, happy anniversary to you two love birds! Big plans in store??

    1. Happy upcoming Golden, I never realized that was a thing!
      This year, we're doing it up right. We'll dress up, there'll be lots of presents, a DJ, food, booze, many guests... (a.k.a. we're going to someone else's wedding and using our imaginations.)

    2. I kinda made up the "golden" thing. (I think.) Around here, your Golden Birthday is a big thing. I'd never even heard of it til I moved here. Poor Link had his on his first birthday. (One year old on the first.) I figured if it works for birthdays it should work for anniversaries.
      Love the idea of using their wedding for your anniversary party! Have a great time! Hope to see some pics!

  2. And to think that you left all of that behind for a husband and three kids!

    Love all the expressions on your face. You were really in the moments. The guys should treasure those memories. Quite the hottie you were.

    Another August anniversary! Happy Happy

    1. Happy Happy back atcha, from one August bride to another!

  3. I wasn't brave enough to divulge anything about my first crush, because too many high school friends are also Facebook friends and blog readers. Think I'll just keep it to myself a little longer....

    1. I try not to mix blog with facebook! Good luck!

  4. My first celebrity crush was Bob from Sesame Street. :)

  5. In fourth grade, I was cast as Alice in Wonderland. Hmmm. A fat kid in glasses. But mom made me the prettiest pinnafore I had ever seen. I remember being on stage and looking down at it, caressing it with my hands. To this day, I remember that pinnafore, but I don't remember doing any acting.

  6. My first 'crush' was with a neighbour boy and schoolmate named Jimmy. It was more of a friendship, but we spent enough time together in his grandparents' pool and jumping off his shed roof for my older sisters to relentlessly tease me about him. He was so cute! But then he moved away after third grade.
    Celebrity crushes (and my, you have made some connections over the years. Poor Johnny Depp, so forgotten and forlorn :)...Over the years I have had many, but who comes to mind first are the following: Yannick Bisson (he's Canadian), Paul Newman and Gregory Peck in their younger roles, River Pheonix was a big one and Colin Firth and Hugh Laurie. Now, I find I have a bit of a cougar's crush on Lawrence Fox. Yeah, another Brit. Btw, I always admit it to my husband. It's for the best.

  7. You have really great taste in men! ;)

  8. I had a Kindergarten crush, similar to that of you and Frank. Mine was Mike B. He had beautiful blue eyes. He now lives in my area, married to one of our high school classmates. I see him now and then at the grocery store, the gas station, or at a softball game. (His daughter played on my daughter's team this summer.) Weird. But I still think the Kindergarten Mike whenever I see the middle aged, beer-bellied, still blue-eyed Mike.

    As for my celebrity crush? Robert Downey Jr. Mmmm-hmmm.