I packed for the occassion:
- Novel I'm currently reading
- Nexus 7 tablet, fully charged
- Full water bottle
- Notebook and pencils
I was prepared. Today was the one we'd designated as DMV afternoon.
I picked Wolfgang up at the appointed time. He approached the driver's side, asking to drive.
"Nope, we have to keep this as painful as possible", I explained, "to further etch the experience into your brain so you don't lose your driver's license again". Even though I'd prefer not to drive, this was a teaching moment. We did what we had to do.
We arrived and Wolfgang told the touchscreen why we were there, and it spit out a number. We looked at the printout, estimated waiting time was 23 minutes. Wowza, sounded good to me!
We found seats and Wolfgang left for the restrooms. I don't even think my butt cheeks were fully into sit mode when I disbelievingly heard what kinda sounded like our number: L508.
I looked again at the slip of paper: L508
I looked at the wall mounted monitor: L508
I sat transfixed, staring at the monitor as the automated voice repeated the number: L508
Then an inner voice said, "Damn you, GET UP! Before they say L509!!"
I grabbed my bag o' stuff and practically ran to the designated station.
"Yes... we just got here.... he's in the bathroom...", I stammered
"You're here to replace a lost license?", he asked, looking bored.
"Yeah, he's in the restroom. I have his birth certificate", I said pantingly and slapped the document on the counter, hoping to keep the bored DMV man occupied so he wouldn't say something like, "Step aside while I take the next person"
As Mr. DMV clicked away on his keyboard, I covertly texted Wolfgang, "WE'RE UP!" under the judgemental eye of the "No cell phones" sign.
I'm still in a bit of a shocked state. I have spent HOURS of my life at that very DMV in the past. Going for snack runs, doodling the ankle bracelet tracking devices of various criminals, playing endless games of hangman as the phrases became more and more violent toward all things DMV.
Wolfgang too. "I told my friends I'd be gone for like three hours". We were in and out in about 15 minutes. It almost felt wrong.
We hightailed it to the parking lot and drove off before some mistake was righted, and we were corraled like captive beasts. Like before.
Something's wrong with that DMV now. I'm scared to go back.
.