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Thursday, October 24, 2013

wait... what?

I packed for the occassion:

  • Novel I'm currently reading
  • Nexus 7 tablet, fully charged
  • Full water bottle
  • Notebook and pencils

I was prepared.  Today was the one we'd designated as DMV afternoon.

I picked Wolfgang up at the appointed time.  He approached the driver's side, asking to drive.

"Nope, we have to keep this as painful as possible", I explained, "to further etch the experience into your brain so you don't lose your driver's license again".  Even though I'd prefer not to drive, this was a teaching moment.  We did what we had to do.

We arrived and Wolfgang told the touchscreen why we were there, and it spit out a number.  We looked at the printout, estimated waiting time was 23 minutes.  Wowza, sounded good to me!

We found seats and Wolfgang left for the restrooms.  I don't even think my butt cheeks were fully into sit mode when I disbelievingly heard what kinda sounded like our number:  L508.

I looked again at the slip of paper:  L508

I looked at the wall mounted monitor:  L508

I sat transfixed, staring at the monitor as the automated voice repeated the number:  L508

Then an inner voice said, "Damn you, GET UP!  Before they say L509!!"

I grabbed my bag o' stuff and practically ran to the designated station.

"Yes... we just got here....   he's in the bathroom...",  I stammered

"You're here to replace a lost license?", he asked, looking bored.

"Yeah, he's in the restroom.  I have his birth certificate", I said pantingly and slapped the document on the counter, hoping to keep the bored DMV man occupied so he wouldn't say something like, "Step aside while I take the next person"

As Mr. DMV clicked away on his keyboard, I covertly texted Wolfgang, "WE'RE  UP!"  under the judgemental eye of the "No cell phones" sign.

I'm still in a bit of a shocked state.  I have spent HOURS of my life at that very DMV in the past.  Going for snack runs, doodling the ankle bracelet tracking devices of various criminals, playing endless games of hangman as the phrases became more and more violent toward all things DMV.

Wolfgang too.  "I told my friends I'd be gone for like three hours".  We were in and out in about 15 minutes.  It almost felt wrong.

We hightailed it to the parking lot and drove off before some mistake was righted, and we were corraled like captive beasts.  Like before.

Something's wrong with that DMV now.  I'm scared to go back.
.

11 comments:

  1. Well, I guess this is good, but don't you hate it when you're all prepared to get some good reading time in.... and then you're cheated out of it?

    This reminds me. I'm due at the DMV soon. My license is going to expire. But I haven't had painfully long wait times at my DMV. Maybe my visit will inspire a blog post though. I'll try to have interesting experiences to report!

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    Replies
    1. I need to renew my license soon too, but I can do that at the comfortable new DMV in the friendly shopping center next to the grocery store that gave me free groceries. They BETTER give me a decent wait!

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  2. ugh. And you were so prepared. How frustrating that you were in and out in 15 minutes. I'm sure the next time will go as planned. This kind of service from the DMV is not likely to happen again...

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    Replies
    1. I'm considering writing my congressman

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  3. Wow. this really shatters a legend. Are you sure you weren't at McDonalds or something?

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    Replies
    1. Maybe that's the explanation. Driver's license happy meal.

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  4. Oh, that's just not right. You are supposed to sit in some crowded waiting room on hard backed chairs, warding off sleep and boredom until some mindless drone calls your name to approach the counter. You have just shattered my expectations. What next? Friendly and courteous postal workers? An IRS audit with cookies?

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    Replies
    1. You're really scaring me now. All those things would require a total shift in life as we know it.

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  5. I know the feeling. It did indeed take hours in CA no matter if you had a pre-scheduled appointment or not. Here in NE is is a snap, in and out and no waiting. LOVE it!

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    Replies
    1. It was amazing, but so weird since this was the same ugly building in the same nasty shopping center where I spent hours waiting before. It was like walking through an anomaly into a warped existence.

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  6. A man at your DMV counter? I don't think I've ever seen a man working the counter; just the usual expressionless women. The man is always working security.

    Although, one can easily lose ones senses at the DMV and miss the male presence; especially since the advent of the automated female voice calling the numbers.

    Good for you and Wolf getting in and out so quickly! I'm reminded of the commercial where the man falls out of the casket eating Cheetos and says, "It's a miracle!"

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