I was chatting with a coworker on Saturday, and we got on the subject of last names. One of our rehab patients had an interestingly spelled last name, so I asked him how it's pronounced.
"Well, in America, it's 'Carpenter', but the original French Canadian is '[SHAA] + [PON] + [TEE] + [AY]'"
"Oooh, I like it. Let's use that one!"
So we were talking about last names, and my coworker told me that her mother didn't take her father's last name when they married. Mom didn't feel a need to change it, and she liked her last name well enough, thanks.
I changed my last name to Magnum's when we got married mainly because, if we had kids (which we did), I felt we should all have the same last name (which we do). Other than that, though, I miss my "old" name. The current one is pretty bland and not [SHAA] + [PON] + [TEE] + [AY]
Additionally, since marrying, my last name is often misread. My last name is Barker and, more often than not, people read Baker. Quiz time, did you read Barker or Baker? Be honest?
I'm this:
Not this:
But honestly, I feel like neither. For one, those depictions are both decent looking men. But OTHERWISE, although I've had my married name longer than I had my maiden (such a strange phrase) name, I still feel like the original me with the original name. My maiden name was simple, one syllable. I consider myself a minimalist, after all. This Barker/Baker business gets to be a drag.
Yesterday, Meego and I went shopping for some dressy clothes. He's becoming eligible for student internships, and while openings are rather sparse during these COVID times, a few are dotting the horizon. If he manages to get an interview, he probably shouldn't show up in jeans and a hoodie.
We were at the men's clothing store where we've gotten such items for Chaco and Wolfgang in the past. As such, I have an established account there under Chaco's name but with my email. Our salesperson pulled up the account as we checked out, telling me I'd receive my receipt in my email. He wanted to confirm my email and recited...
"Carlo Baker at..."
Carlo Baker?? Who the heck is Carlo Baker? Oh look! I found him!
 |
| And this guy's name isn't Carlo either |
I'm still waiting for my email receipt. Maybe I should give the bakery a call.
Do you like your name? Have an opinion on wives taking husband's names? Does yours get butchered? Or baked?
13 comments:
Mary said that one of the reasons she married me was because she didn't like her last name (Kacka, which she took a lot of grief for because her neighborhood was half Lithuanian, half Mexican, and she'd get called "ca-ca").
I can stand in front of someone and spell my name "H-O-L-T-O-N" and they'll still write "Holten" or "Holt."
John, having grown up in a heavy Hispanic and Italian community, I feel Mary's pain.
Well I loved my maiden name. (Malizia) And when we got married I decided to keep it. Rick was fine with that knowing we were not having children. So then we had a major mix-up with insurance and the run around because I didn't have the same last name and the bills were rejected and they wanted me to pay all this money. This went on for 9 months!! I finally gave up and said, fine I'll take your name! While it made it easier for others I still had a hard time saying my new last name and he did too. He introduces me to this day as my wife, Peggy Malizia. And then he calls me Margaret and I say my last name and they probably think I'm running from the law!! Crazy isn't it?
Peggy/Margaret, I hadn't thought about problems with insurance and such. I like your maiden name too (I think I'm saying it right in my mind).
We moved to a whole new state right after getting hitched so hardly anyone knew me there as my previous name. Made for an easy transition, but I still miss the maiden name.
My sis in law got divorced and became a Barker again. She remarried and kept the Barker, so apparently she's fine as Baker too.
If I had a chance or cared enough to take on a new name it would not be the one i was born with, nor the one I married, i would choose something descriptive, something from the female gender box. Male names keep getting passed along like they are of more value. It is an old fashioned idea of wives being chattel, probably. Why not invent new ones.
After I got married, i went to have my name changed on my driver's license - it is a peculiar name, but he is a man of tradition, so, OK. At the DMV the woman asked if I was SURE about this- had i thought it over thoroughly? So, here I am with "could you spell that please" every time.
I have a simple, 5 letter last name. Think Morganstern from Mary Tyler Moore. If people read it, all is well. But if they have to spell it without having seen it first? Oh - the variations are nearly endless. More of an issue picking up prescriptions - the clerk can never seem to find the listing the first time through.
Linda Sue, yes, "chattel" is the word I was looking for. I kinda like the idea of inventing a new name upon marriage. Except I probably would've suggested the one I already had.
Brian, so much strife from five letters! My maiden name has four letters. A few people tried to pronounce it more complex than it ever was.
We talked about her taking my name in matrimony. Her "maiden" name was meh, as is mine kinda, so no real standout choice. But she was married before and that guy's was the one she was still carrying at the time -- and it was really a nice-sounding name. "Maybe I should just keep <>."
Um, no. Of all the options, THAT one ain't happenin'...
I must say I read Barker.
My Granddaughter's surname is her father's name, even though he does very little in the way of bringing her up and my daughter never married him, and isn't with him. I have to say it pisses me off a bit. :D
Anonymous, could've kept <>. Would've made for interesting/AWKWARD party conversation! And your last name is not so meh, from my POV!
LLC Joe, thank you for reading Barker :)
And yes, this! It bothers me too that children get the father's name even when he's not or hardly in the picture!
My mom never took my dad's last name. I don't blame her! It's Yerian and often gets mispronounced as "urine". Hers is Drake. Nice and simple. However, it does give me lots of pleasure to see their names on mail. My dad's name is Dana, so on paper, it really looks like my parents are a lesbian couple. Don't tell them I said that.
Names are funny things. My maiden name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled, yet people never seem to say it correctly. My married name is just four letters and I so looked forward to having an "easy" name when I got married. BUT everyone pronounces it wrong. Can't win!
Larz, HaHa, thank you for that!
Tee, now I'm wondering if I'm mispronouncing your married name in my head. Probably!
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