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Tuesday, May 12, 2020

stood up, lied to, spit out

I had the morning off and had arranged a meet up with this guy.  As the appointed time approached, I prepared for his arrival - cleaned myself and the house up a bit, took the dogs out back so they wouldn't interrupt the liaison.  

The appointed time arrived, but he did not.  "Maybe running a little late", I deluded myself.  Surely, he was on his way.  He'd even sent an email to confirm we were still on.


We'd met online through - I guess you'd say - a mutual interest.  He wanted to check out my unruly bush, as he was apparently into such things.  


Well.  I had plenty to offer.  I'd even given my bush a once over earlier that morning, to make sure to impress.  


So, where was he?  At ten minutes past, I decided I'd check in.


A woman answered.  What?


I explained the situation, and she said she knew of our scheduled meetup.  She would find the man and call me back.


A few minutes later, it was the woman on the phone again.


"He said he was there and rang the doorbell and knocked, but no one answered, so he left"


"But... but... my bush?", I stuttered.  "Will he be coming back?", I asked pathetically after confirming they had the correct address.


No.  He had other places he needed to be, but I could arrange for another time....


What the hell?

First of all, the he-was-there-but-no-one-answered story was ridiculous.  (A) I specifically watched for him as I value people's time. (2) the dogs will bark if someone approaches our house, and they were quiet the whole time, and (Last but not Least) we have a freaking Ring®️ doorbell that records all the comings and goings to and from the front door, and there was a whole lot of nothing since I walked in at about 6am.

He was a no show.

So I'm all, look, if you don't want the job of removing the juniper bushes from the front yard, just say so.  Don't make me block time out for you, then not show up, and try to make it look like it's my fault.

Spurned, I went on the prowl.

I arranged another meetup at the university, with a young college student, no less.  He was punctual and gave me exactly what I'd (ordered earlier online for curbside pickup) needed.

Before returning home, however, I made one more stop.  The pet store.  The exertion elation was almost indescribable (35-lb bag of dogfood) as the burly man well met my needs.

So yeah, I feel better after a couple of competency fixes.  But you're not off the hook, Davey Tree.

Did she lie to me?  Did he lie to her?  Were they both out smoking a bowl in the truck?  We'll likely never know, but he's not gonna touch my bush.

A woman scorned and all that.



9 comments:

Chatty Crone said...

I think he was lying to his boss and to you both!

Abby said...

Sandie, probably. Such a bad lie.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

First of all I couldn't stop laughing because I am a 12 yr old in a 64 yr old body each time you told me you gave your bush a once over earlier that morning and when you said "your unruly bush" you know my mind went to something other than a juniper plant. I thought like our legs during quarantine you let things get out of control...tee hee.
I suspect if she was not lying to you then perhaps as I have been known to do, she gave him the wrong house address. But they should have a phone contact for you so he could have called you. So they don't work very efficiently.

Abby said...

Peggy, the first thing I asked was if they had my correct address because I knew no one had come to the house. But she confirmed the address and stuck to the story, so I realized maybe we dodged a bullet with these people.
Or maybe my bush was just too unruly...

Lorraine said...

I would try another company. They definitely sound unprofessional.

Anonymous said...

"If I could leave ZERO stars....." (fill in the rest, emphasizing the unruly bush).

Abby said...

Clamco, yeah, you might say I was underwhelmed.

Anon, yes! My unruly bush and I will move on from this.
Can I give a negative star? Would that be a black hole?

Brian said...

My inner 12 year old wants to jump on ALL of these double entendre's left dangling there, but I will resist that urge.

Locally, I had a Davey Tree crew in last year to remove a crippled Norway Maple - a rather largish tree that had a wicked case of carpenter ants and some cracks opening up on a few big branches. My experience with them was fantastic, so maybe you just got a dud crew that didn't want to tangle with junipers.

Abby said...

Brian, I've never worked with them before, but they have a decent reputation. Yeah, maybe I just got a dud crew, or maybe they just didn't like my bush.