Monday, February 25, 2013

it's Monday morning, do you know where your crossing guard is?

I mentioned the snow yesterday.  "Gently falling" I think I said.  "Gently falling" eventually turned into "raging sideways".  I'd look at the weather bug on my computer screen and see a "40" and think, "oh, it's warming up", and then realize that that was the wind speed.

The school district, in a rare move,  announced early last evening that there would be a 2-hour delayed start to school this morning.  Crapola.

Normally, I go off and do the crossing guard bit in the morning, the little kids settle into school, and I settle into not-crossing-guard stuff.   I had not-crossing-guard stuff scheduled for today, smack dab in the middle of 2-hour-delay-kids-go-to-school time.

So last night, I called the vice principal and apologized for my inability to clone myself in time for the morning commute.  She was very understanding, noting that those aren't my scheduled work hours anyway.  Still, I didn't want to be a biotch about technicalities.

It's pretty slim pickings right now for crossing guards, of which the school has three.  June is still out with her mystery injury.  Young Eli, who has another part-time job at the school,  recently vacated the north flank guard post.  Until someone gets hired to replace Eli and until June is back in action, it's whoever can be coerced into wearing the hideous vests and getting out to cover Eli's and June's posts.

The school principal, in a characteristically well-prepped plan, had each staff member who is not a classroom teacher go through crossing guard training at the start of this school year.  Yes, there is required training.  Yes, there is a written test.  Yes, I aced mine.  What?  It wasn't in the papers?

She smartly trained up an entire army of crossing guard reserves.  With that, the vice principal told me she felt that my inept cloning ability wouldn't be a problem.   I was free to go about my not-crossing-guard business without worry.

And so the streak has ended.  Until today, I've never requested a sub in my entire illustrious 2+ year crossing guard career.   Surprisingly, the school can operate without me after all.


  1. Haha. Love it. And it was in the papers out here. You're famous in crossing guard circles around here.
    Seriously, we don't even have crossing guards anymore. There used to be a program for the older kids to be volunteer crossing guards at the main intersection in town (the high school is downtown) but they were replaced by a traffic light. The crosswalk at the elementary school remains unguarded. We do have the police stopping by every once in a while to make sure drivers are behaving themselves.

    1. I'd never seen a real-life crossing guard until we moved here. Now I are one.

  2. Remember the commercial where the guy went on vacation and they brought in Bob, the temp, who actually did things better. So every time the main guy called in they told him "Don't worry! BOB's here!"
    Not that YOU have anything to worry about, what with having made the papers with your incredible extreme crossing guard skills. (At least Rebecca's papers.)
    Kinda sucks having to miss a day, though, doesn't it? I've been working downtown for almost 4 years now, and have never missed a day. I like that the hotel knows they can depend on me to be there.
    Did your non-crossing guard duties require taking Ellie Mae out in the snow?

    1. Migosh, it could happen. Todd was my sub. 6'4, 250 lb. "MR. TODD". I don't think anyone worried!

      Ellie Mae laughs at the snow.

  3. I am just amazed that you can't clone yourself. Maybe that could be the next science project, now that the balloon has had its flight?

  4. "I called the vice principal and apologized for my inability to clone myself in time for the morning commute."

    That made me laugh. But wouldn't it be awesome if we COULD clone ourselves? I would make the 2nd Meleah do all the hard work!

    Wow. I can't believe you've never had to "call out" in two years! You rule.

    1. Sounds like a great plan.. I think I'll start a to-do list for 2nd Abby!

  5. Sounds like the vice principal is well suited for her position. She has a knack for thinking ahead and preparing for possible lapses.

    2+ years is an impressive amount of time to go without having to call in a sub. Maybe THAT will be in the papers!

  6. Let me know when that cloning project finally works out. You could always have Abby 2 do the general house cleaning while you are off at the office. Glad to hear that the principal was well prepared for such a crossing guard crisis, but I bet the replacements didn't do it half as well as you did.