It was an unseasonably warm afternoon last Wednesday. Kids were just getting out of school. People were out and about, running errands, going to or from work, etc. I was doing the crossing guard thing.
I had two girls ready to cross the street and found a moment when the traffic wasn't too jammed up to do just that. The light changed, the traffic stopped, the walk sign began to flash and buzz.
The SUV came barrelling through.
I saw her coming, and so did the girls. I knew she wasn't going to stop. Despite the flashing school zone lights. Despite the flourescent signs. Despite the stopped cars. Despite the other drivers honking at her. Despite me and the kids. She drove on through at about 45 miles per hour.
I was standing near the edge of the road, and she was in the lane closest to me. If I wanted to, I could have reached out my stop sign and scratched that SUV up good, but I didn't. Not in real life anyway.
I watched her face as she drove by. She actually looked a little startled, probably from the other cars honking at her. Maybe it was just dawning on her that something was different.
And it stayed with me. For hours afterward.
There are speeders every day. There are the occassional red light runners. Oddly, this was the first time they were ever in combination. It's like some drivers can only concentrate on one rule at a time.
"Okay, I can reduce my speed, but I can't pay attention to the traffic light at the same time" or vice versa.
So yeah, the barrelling SUV bothered me - not in a scared-the-bejezuss-outta-me way, but in a how-can-she-have-been-so-effing-clueless way. It bothered me so much, I vented a bit on my facebook when I got home. I hardly ever put anything on my facebook wall, can't remember the last thing, and don't care enough now to go check.
Later that evening, I was still all *razzum frazzum razzum frazzum*. I vented to Magnum as we went for our old folks walk. I was replaying it in my head too much. Then I would replay the other version - the one where I scratch her up.
I wasn't proud of this.
I'm not posting this to b*tch about that driver. Eventually, I did let it go. But I would have liked the letting go to have happened sooner. And honestly, as I rehash it out here, I'm starting to feel the *razzum frazzums* trying to bubble up again.
So, I'm seeking advice again. How do you let things go and keep them from messing with you after they're done and gone? Is there an event or situation you still can't let go of?