Thursday, March 25, 2010

writing good

The fourth leg is there. I can see part of it. I don't, however, know if it is a girl coyote or a boy coyote. That would take more work.
Speaking of work, I'm about to grade some essays. Before starting my evaluations, I like to warm my brain up with a few basic rules. Join me?
1. Always avoid aliteration

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid cliches like the plague.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

7. Foreign words and phrases are not apropros.

8. One should never generalize.

9. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

10. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

11. Don't be redundant, don't use more words than necessary, it's highly superfluous.

12. Profanity sucks.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

16. One-word sentences? Eliminate!

17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

18. The passive voice is to be avoided.

19. Employ the vernacular

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?



Duble said...

I'm glad you didn't grade my essays. I dont' even know what half your guide lines mean.

terri said...

Sheesh! You're a drill sergeant! :-)

Goes by the name of Anna said...

Haha, cute!
I head off to my Editorial English class in a few hours, and you've already warmed me up on the grammar jokes front!

(*sigh* I love word jokes...)

Judy said...

Yes, Ma'am!!!

agg79 said...

Dang. I guess that leaves me with nothing to day.

agg79 said...

And by the way, I see the fourth leg.

Anonymous said...

Please don't edit my blog...I frequently dangle prepositions. :(

Anita said...

I'm guilty.

Very good list! I need to hang it by my computer. :)