Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Dear Abby

No, not me, that other one...

My husband's evil stepmother (his title for her, not mine... well...) has, for YEARS given me a pleasant desktop calendar for Christmas. For YEARS, I used it on my desk at work. I would write down meetings and other appointments in there, not so much for me, but for coworkers who came a-looking for me.

There it would sit with my scheduled commitments written out for all to see. So if someone came by my cubicle wanting to talk to me about something, they would know if I was in a meeting or something, and the approximate time when I would return. If nothing was written in the pleasant desk top calendar and I wasn't there, it was safe to assume that I was just roaming the building or hiding in the bathroom or something and would probably return relatively soon.

I haven't had a desk job in over 12 years.

Still, the calendars arrive. I give them away.

I got another pleasing desk calendar from the stepmotherinlaw this Christmas. I will give it away.

My question is: Do I ask her to stop sending them? Or is it too late for that? If I do make the request, will it dawn on her that I've not used the pleasant desktop calendars for the last 12 years?

Before answering, perhaps I should provide some background info on the stepmotherinlaw. She is not exactly the sweet little old lady type. No, not at all. Seen the movie "Devil Wears Prada?" Remember Meryl Streep's character? That's similar to my stepmotherinlaw, only not as extreme. Really.

I would bet money, cash MONEY, that her coworkers, particularly the underlings, speak about her behind her back - instant messaging each other and such similar to the way as in "DWP". In fact, my husband has had it documented that certain neighbors have done such things. And there's some evidence of connection to Nazi's, but really, I just don't want to go there...

ANYWAY, in addition, I think it's safe to say that she's never really understood my leaving a perfectly good title and profession to be a LOWLY stay-at-home-mom. Perhaps the pleasant desk calendars are her form of denial.

What would you do?


  1. I would keep the calander, and make your kids use it to schedule chore time!! I mean that is if you can get them off of Guitar hero.`

  2. If you really want to stop the calendars, make a point to "revolutionize" your scheduling world this year through Outlook or an online calendar and let her know about it. Tell her how much more FUN and ACCESSIBLE and TREE FRIENDLY your computerized calendaring is that you JUST DISCOVERED (around April)...and mention it again and again and again. If she still gives you a calendar, then you have earned the right to be all sad about it and let her know how you have graduated beyond the paper calendar phase but you appreciate her generosity and thoughtfulness...

    Okay, it sounds good here...

  3. Honestly? I would say nothing, and let her keep sending the calendars. I know there are a million ways this could be handled in a polite and non-confrontational way, but the step MIL doesn't sound like the type to receive this information well. If she can't figure out on her own that you no longer need a desk calendar because you don't work a desk job, it's only going to irritate her to have it brought to her attention.

    (I have some experience with psycho relatives... It's best not to disturb them if at all possible!)

  4. I agree with Terri, Do not disturb the disturbed.

  5. I concur with terri & Herb. Best to let that sleeping dog lie. Besides, she could be sending fruitcake every year.

  6. Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

  7. I would let her keep sending them. After all it's one less gift you have to buy for someone else ;) hehe.
    By the way I've moved blogs.
    Wendy aka Mrs. Diamond