Friday, July 17, 2009

sometimes it's funny

I've mentioned here before that the husband, Magnum, has Asperger's Syndrome. Remember? Of course you do. If not, and you're thinking, "what the heck are ass burgers?", Asperger's is kinda like Autism. It's like Autism's up-the-street neighbor.

It first dawned on me a few years ago when I was working as a temporary special ed. resource teacher at the local elementary school. We were discussing a particular student, and my boss was rather upset because some counselor was trying to "treat" the student for Asperger's when none of us, who worked with him daily, felt that he had it. He had issues, oh yes he did, but he didn't have Asperger's.

And it think I already had an inkling about Magnum before this, but the discussion of this student only solidified my non-professional diagnosis. All the while, I was thinking, "No, Alex (that's his name) doesn't have Asperger's because he doesn't do the Asperger stuff that Magnum does".

So, long story short, I told Magnum of my suspicions. He found an Asperger specialist type person in town, and he passed her tests with flying colors. If I remember correctly, "normal" (also known as "NT" for "Neuro Typical") people get an average scaled score of 4 in the battery of tests. The average Asperger person scores a 14. Magnum, in his typical overachieving fashion, outdid them and scored a 17.

And lemme tellya, it's not for the weak. As I've told Magnum, "a lesser woman woulda left by now!". He knows I'm having fun with him... and he also knows it's true.

He's learned to laugh at himself. Yes, Asperger's can be fun. For instance, around here, whenever we change something about the house, we play the game of don't-tell-Dad-and-see-how-long-it-takes-him-to-notice. All in fun of course.

I finally told him about a particular lampshade after two years had passed.

So, I must say, while "a lesser woman" wouldn't put up with the whole NT-married-to-an-AS scenario (and many just don't), in many ways I'm glad to be here. We're on the brink of our 19th anniversary, and looking back, I was a lesser woman before. This challenge has, I think, made me better than I was.

I could cry, but I choose to laugh. Because sometimes it's funny.


  1. Hi Abby -
    I just figured out that you also have a blog. Hooray! We play that game too - the see how long game.
    May I add you to my blogroll at Loving the Tasmanian Devil?

  2. You are merely married to an AS, while I , my dear am married to an ASS!!!


  3. Hmmm... Asperger's Syndrome? Is that what they're calling it these days? I usually just tell my husband he's insensitive.

    I love that you find the humor in this and find games to test his skills!

  4. This is what my son Kody has been diagnosed with. We had a real rough go for quite some time before we knew what was truly going on with him. It was worse when he was younger, but now that he's almost 15, he's maturing and things are ever so much better! I didn't know you were married to an AS~! Learn sumpthin new everyday~! {{huggz!!}}

  5. Wow, I love your outlook! Glad to have found you.

  6. My rising 7th grader is working her way through her required summer reading list. We read summaries of the books on the list and she chose "Mockingbird" by Kathryn Erskine to read next. When I saw that it's about a girl who has Asperger's Syndrome, I asked myself, "Where have I heard or seen that lately?"

    And that's how I landed here. Did the old search thing on your blog and found many mentions of it; then began my reading and skimming. There's always something we have to deal with, isn't it? I'm glad for you - that life has worked out well for you, Magnum, and the boys; that apparently, you all are making the jumps, hurdles, and dives when necessary. :) I have to do the same... for other reasons... thankfully, we're blessed.

    I hope my daughter will like the book and share her thoughts with me.