Wednesday, December 17, 2008

on the hunt

First of all:

Yes, Jerry, that is a toilet seat that my foot is propped on for the picture of my chair war wound. Unsanitary, yes, but in this house there really aren't many better alternatives.

And, yes, I WAS wearing shorts. In the middle of December. In Colorado. But I was inside the house. It was early in the morning - before I put on my "real" clothes. We don't all live in igloos out here.

After that ominous start of my day, things did improve. I'm glad to say that we haven't been plagued by snow days at school this week like Whimsical Ranter. That would've seriously thrown a wrench in my Christmas prep.

For the remainder of this entry, I will substitute the code word "chicken" for words that may reveal too much, lest one of the kids happens to stumble in here.

After taking the dog for her cold-weather training, I headed out to the chicken store because Wolfgang had dropped a big hint about a certain chicken there that he wanted. So I was in the chicken aisle, looking for this very specific chicken and wasn't seeing it. In the meantime, I could hear one of the store employees talking very loudly. Just had one of those loud voices. I found it a bit annoying as I was hunting through all those chickens looking for the one chicken I'd gone to purchase.

To make matters worse, she started eating a sandwich yet continued to talk. I could hear the "see-food" in her mouth, it was as gross as seeing it. At some point, she peeked down the chicken aisle I was in. She put a hand in front of her mouth and loudly inquired, "Can I *garble* help *garble* you find *garble* something?" Like the placement of her hand helped much.

I asked if they had the specific chicken, and she said yes, they did and approached to locate it. She couldn't find it either though, so she calls loudly - in an even louder voice than before - to the front of the store. "HEY! WE GOT ANY OF THEM CHICKENS?"

No answer.

Loud sandwich woman then whispers to me, "his hearing's not what it used to be". So, I'm thinking, why is she whispering? "Or maybe he's just ignoring me", she continues, whispering. Now I start to warm up to her, making fun of her man and all.

Anyway, the man comes over and looks for the chicken too. Can't find it either and determines they must've all been sold. I leave the store empty handed.

Then I hit the mall *shudders*. I had better luck there. Got another chicken I know Wolfgang wanted and also found some chicken for Meegos' teacher. Oh, well, that's just hand lotion. Don't need the code word.

By then, I still had a few hours before the kids got home from school. I welcomed the time to sit and get quite a bit of work done at my desk as my shin was fat and throbbing. Dastardly evil chair.

I'm still hunting for the chicken, though. Eight more shopping days!


Judy said...

I wear sweats in July IN TEXAS because I'm chilled - I can't even fathom shorts today!

terri said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud AGAIN! Chickens... sheesh!

Yeah, I am in MN where it's been crazy below zero and snowy and I am in the house, yet ironically, I am wearing a long underwear shirt, a turtleneck sweater, jeans and a fleece blanket while sitting in front of the fireplace. When I go to bed, I will change into sweats and a hooded sweatshirt. Bow chicka bow bow... My hubby loves that outfit!

brandy101 said...

For aminute I thought *chicken* meant *condoms* or similar adult item...but then the teacher bit threw that theory out the window! (I hope!!!)

Whimsical Ranter said...

LMAO....The chicken story made me laugh.

Kids are still out of school, and I'm figuring there is NO point sending them tomorrow (friday) if there is school.

Whimsical Ranter said...

Oh crap...Forgot to say thanks for the shoutout!

Freak Magnet said...

Ahhhh yes.. the great chicken hunt. I can't even imagine going anywhere near a mall right about now... ! LOL