So Magnum recently had a check-up at the doctor's. They called him back a coupla days later.
"It was my bloodwork", he says.
"They say my triglycerides are high, my HDL is too low, and I need more sex", he continued.
*pause for look of skepticism from me*
"Okay, I threw in the last one. What are triglycerides??"
"I dunno", I adeptly replied, "they've never called ME back *snicker snicker*".
True to form, Magnum looked up information on triglycerides. It's basically fat. He's one of these people that, for most of his life, has eaten however much of whatever he wants without too many repurcussions. Maybe it's catching up. To his defense, he had just returned from a business trip before the check-up. Those business trips are really just week-long artery hardening fests. Plenty of expense account food and beverages, very little exercise.
I guess he's supposed to eat "heart healthy" now? To get his numbers into the normal range? Does this mean I have to learn how to cook? What about my scrawny children?
Anyway, I'm off to the grocery store. At least I won't have to think too much to buy the toilet paper.