Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I just wanna say...

This month's NaBloPoMo theme is "love and sex", centered on Valentine's Day, no doubt.  So I've blogged on a couple of the prompts dealing with "firsts" - first crush, first love... without going into a great amount of detail.

I do like to keep things pretty lighthearted around here, but I want to acknowledge that real crushes and real first loves can be quite intense, dramatic, and often dangerous.  The teenage years are volatile ones when level-headedness, foresight, and maturity aren't always on par with physical development!

Speaking from my own experiences as well as those of friends and acquaintances, I just want to caution against taking teenage romance too lightly.  Those relationships shouldn't be lumped in the same bucket as the little pretend romances we have as young children.  From an article in Psychology Today:

"Adults who underestimate the strength of the bond-- or the impact of the loss -- of a first love may have forgotten what a blow it was when they lost their own first loves. They may even try to comfort teenagers with lighthearted lessons: a surprising number of men and women wrote to me to bitterly complain about parents who joked years ago, "Don't worry! Boyfriends/girlfriends are like buses... a new one comes along every ten minutes!" This was not helpful, and it was not funny. The loss of a first love can be so crushing to some teenagers that they become suicidal."

Sad but true.  And that's all I want to say about that.

Thus endeth today's Public Service Announcement.


terri said...

Believe me, this is something I've worried about with my kids. One of them (I'm sure you can guess who) had one passing romance before meeting the person who has become a very significant other. I have worried how painful it would be if this romance were to crumble. (Not that there are any signs of that... but I'm a worrier sometimes!)

Anonymous said...

Have no fear. I DO remember the heartbreak of a lost love.(or 2 or 3). And because of that, I'm dreading watching my kids go through the same thing. Mario especially.
Thanks for the reminder for us parents to be a little more compassionate with lost loves. Great public service announcement! :)

Rock Chef said...

Guess I got off fairly lightly - sure I had a few crushes, but my first real girlfriend is the one I married and am still with today. As for comforting those in the throws of a breakup, I guess it is a very delicate path to tread - not to trivialise the situation while making sure that they realise it is not really the end of the world!

agg79 said...

So true! The lost of that first love can be overwhelming. I'm like Rock, had few crushes and married my first real girlfriend, so I have no deep perspective on breakups. I had the same worries as others with our son. He didn't date that much in high school but found true love in college and they married last year. Love (true or passing) is not something to take lightly.

meleah rebeccah said...

This is 100% accurate. And I DO remember how crushing my very first heartbreak was. And my 16 year old son is currently going through his very first break up. It's gut wrenching.