Thursday, August 2, 2012


I was talking with a neighbor a few days ago.  She was fretting.  Her son is attending the same college as Chaco and the dorm move-in date is not far away.

"He needs bedding... maybe we can supply a fridge if his roommate has a microwave... fret... fret... fret..."  I nodded sympathetically, but in my mind, I was thinking, "eh, whatever".

Chaco is attending the local university, and yes, he'll live in the dorm.  He's in a suite that houses four students.  He and one of his friends make up half of the suiteness.  He got his housing information this week and learned the names of the other half of the suiteness.

Chaco and his friend are both pretty tame and happy in their computer nerdness.  In fact, with Chaco's upcoming nest-leaving, we are losing our entire household IT department.  That's the extent of my fretting.

As he was telling me he'd received his housing info, I gave him the required mom speech about "no drugs!" now that he's a college freshman, fresh out of his parent's house.  He knows it was sincere yet dripping with sarcasm.  He assured me all was fine with the roommates.  The other half of suiteness are also two friends from a small school from the city up the road, and they both have World of Warcraft accounts.

"They're nerds too."

He learned all of this just from knowing their names.

I've never lived in a dorm.  That is one piece of college life I never experienced, from the list that also includes binge drinking, date rape, same-sex experimentation...  Silly me, I just studied and graduated.  I spent my first two years at a junior college then transferred to a university.  Always lived off campus.

I attended a frat party or two and was unimpressed.  Rich, good looking people, stupidly drunk.  I had a few friends - exactly three, actually - who were sorority girls, but they were rebels.  Nope, I never felt I missed out by not living in the dorm, and I was very content to not be in a sorority.  It never even occurred to me to try.

So, we're kind of in a transition, but not a big one.  I'm glad Chaco chose the local university.  It IS a good school, but it's also very close by, so the mom factor is high.

Maybe I'll remind my neighbor that, if we really wanted to, we could go there and spy on them in our spare time.


  1. The few women (VERY FEW) I have met here, are always FRETTING. And they FRET with ENTHUSIASM as in: "stare me in the eyes and experience the depth of my turmoil!!!!"

    If it's ever anything but nonsense, they will have my full attention. Until then, it might look like my porch light is on, but nobody's home.

    1. I once volunteered with a hyper-fretter. She's the reason I left.

  2. I lived off campus as well, and felt the same way about the college parties. Not impressive. Hubby on the other hand would have been among the kids I wasn't impressed with. Good thing we met later.
    Right now my only sense of fret is that my kids will NEVER move out. ;)
    Personally, I think you have a great mix of Chaco having independence, yet being close. I'm happy for him. And you.

    1. Hubby a party boy?
      Yes, the Chaco situation seems a good mix in theory. We'll see what happens in "the lab".

  3. Fret? I think that is part of the parental experience we all paid for. Especially if you signed up for the "my kid is heading off to college" option. We had the exact same feat when we drove junior up to his freshman year 5 long years ago. It does get easier, it just takes some time (and lots of vodka).

    My impression is that Chaco has a good head on his shoulders and will overcome all those college level temptations that cross his path. I lived on campus for over 4 years so it was a different experience that others may have had. Not quite the fraternity/party gig, but there were some rather interesting experiences that made me the twisted person I am today. I could regale you with some interesting stories but the statute of limitations hasn't expired yet.

  4. I wanted to live in the dorms when I went to college but it wasn't an option. I struggled to pay my own way and finally gave up school in favor of going to work and not being completely broke all the time. (Regrets, regrets!) But I always felt that if I had been more immersed in college life, I might have toughed it out. SO... that's why I really wanted my kids to live in the dorms. And as hard as I sometimes find it to have them gone away from home, it seems to be working well for them. One is "this close" to graduating and the other is happily looking forward to going back for another year.

    Sounds like Chaco is in with a good mix of kids and should do just fine at school. Nice that he's close to home too.

  5. I did the dorm thing; was about an hour and a quarter away from home - not TOO far. It was an experience; one that does require restraint and wisdom. It's kinda like driving: you may be good, but you have to watch all the other drivers. But if you're just a lit-tle bad, you learn and survive it.

    Didn't do the sorority (a blog post on that subject has been in the works for a month or so - maybe I'll get back to it...or you should do it), and given my kids' personalities, I don't think they will either.

    I'm excited for Chaco, and you,too! You're crossing into another dimension that's sure to put smiles on your faces - not frets - I hope.