My crossing guard boss is the assistant principal at the school. She's new this year, and I've only ever met her once. It was early in the school year, and I got an e-mail from her.
"We need to get together next week to go over your goals. What times do you have available?"
I cheerfully replied, "My afternoons are free, let me know what works best for you."
She responded flatly, "Let's meet Friday morning at 8:30."
Uhm.... oooooKay.
Now, I was fully aware that this was just something she needed to cross off her to-do list. My goals as a crossing guard, although they take up two pages of text, boil down to, "No one dies or gets maimed in or near the crosswalk during my watch".
So I arranged to be available to meet with her NOT in the afternoon. If nothing else, it would be nice to meet the new assistant principal. I guess that feeling was not mutual.
I arrived promptly and was told I would need to wait. So I sat in a chair in the office - not the one where the misbehaving kids sit, but the one where the kids who have vomitted and need to go home sit.
Eventually, she showed up. I rose, said smilingly, "Hi Jen, nice to meet you!".
"Hi. Come on back", she said without breaking stride towards her office.
Uhm.... oooooKay.
I don't remember much of what else transpired. There was some clicking of a mouse on her part, some printing of documentation. I was free to go. I left with the feeling that she didn't like me, yet she had never met me. Did I have some reputation that peceded me?
I mentioned this meeting to a couple of friends who still volunteer at the school, and they assured me, that it wasn't me, it was her. "She's always like that".
"OH, good! I mean... Really?"
A few days ago, I received a summons for jury duty. Oh joy. I went to the school staff website and did what I needed to do for jury duty absence. Still, I thought I should touch base with Jen, to make sure someone covered for me at the crosswalk. I didn't expect to get any reply. Most likely, June will cover for me, and one of the substitute crossing guards at the school will cover for June.
Since I see June each day, except when she goes on vacation without telling me and causes me to lose sleep over her "disappearance", I would just confirm it all with her.
Lo and behold, the very next morning, I had a reply from Jen. Not only did she acknowledge me with a "thank you", but she also included a "so much!" for letting her know.
I'm wondering, maybe she's just one of those people that is better at communicating via written word rather than in person. Which do you prefer? Face-to-face or text/e-mail?
Or maybe there's just something suspicious afoot.
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Interesting. I just had a similar experience with a new client. In our email communications, I felt as if I was being put off. I spoke with my contact for the first time today on the phone and she was ... going to use a word I wouldn't normally use ... delightful!
ReplyDeleteI think people definitely have a comfort zone in regards to communication. I feel (not surprisingly) that I'm better with the written word. But I hope that if you and I ever have the chance to speak that I don't come off as stand-off-ish!
Stand-off-ish? You? I can't even imagine it. Trying.....
DeleteNope!
It's certainly easier to be perceived as friendly and happy when you're writing, so if you're not normally an outgoing person, it's a good alternative.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I like both. All day long I am happy, smiling, outgoing, chatty, so when I get home, I like to sit quietly and 'chat' with you all. It's a nice change of pace!
I agree, it is a nice mix. I think I started blogging because I needed more chat in my life at the time. I've no doubt that you are friendly both in text and face!
DeleteI am totally a face-time person. Rather converse face-to-face, but I am also perfectly happy with email and text, too. Um, I'm just happy!
ReplyDeleteI "get" that from your writing! That you're a face-to-facer. Your blog is like stopping and chatting in the peanut butter aisle :).
DeleteI definitely communicate better in writing, because I have to time to think--and revise and revise and revise, if necessary. Communicating with someone "live", even by phone, makes me nervous. I tend to stutter, and I often unintentially annoy the other person. And what's more unusual--I communicate far better with strangers than acquaintances. Because strangers, not knowing me, won't judge me; but acquaintances will. And the better I know the person, the more difficult it is for me to communicate face-to-face. Further, to top that off--I'm an accomplished public speaker, and have no trouble at all speaking to a crowd. When speaking to an audience, there is an invisible shield between us, which gives me a sense of security.
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting Scott. I agree that writing gives us a chance to revise and be more clear. I'm glad you found blogging and enjoy it!
DeleteUnfortunately people are so busy they lose the art of social politeness. They just need a little reminder whatever that is that reaches them and brings them back to the land of the living. Meeting in person is so different from email. I personally like both ways to communicate. It takes less time to pop off an email, whereas meeting someone in person takes a few minutes longer. It sounds like the assistant principal was still adjusting to the position and possibly feeling a bit over her head.
ReplyDeleteI agree, in person is nice, but e-mail is so convenient. I also have some theories on the asst. principal's people skills. For one, the person she replaced was VERY well liked, and a tough act to follow who, not surprisingly, left for a better job.
DeleteThey say most communication is nonverbal. I'll know I'm in trouble when Guanowife responds with, "It's the WAY you typed it!"
ReplyDelete