Stuffed Lumbers. I have approximately 80 of them hidden deep in the bowels of my house.
What is a stuffed Lumber?? Lumber is the elementary school mascot, remember? As in "Run With...." He's a wolf. Anyway, when we do Run With Lumber in the spring, there are prizes at stake.
Last year, we gave out these stuffed Lumbers as prizes. In order to win one, kids must be either the top runner or the top money earner in their grade. They're like little Lumber voodoo dolls.
Why do I have 80 of them hidden deep in the bowels of my house? Well, we got a price break for buying in bulk, so it looks like these will be THE prizes for the next few years to come. "But, why not stowe them at the school, as with the other PTO stuff??" you ask.
Truth is, we've done that with previous prizes, and they get STOLEN! Not by delinquent children, no - the teachers and other staff take 'em! ---- YEAH! That's what I said!
But think about it. They're cute, they're about the school, there's boxes of them. Who cares if I just take one?? I'll put it in my room! The kids will love it there! It'll be cute! I want one! I'm taking one! Who cares if I just take one??
So, we have to hide them. Hide them far away. There in my house bowels. SHHHHH! Don't tell. Last week the school counselor asked if she could have some. She's put together some "deployment boxes" for students at the school who have a deployed military parent. She wanted to include a stuffed Lumber in each box.
So I'm about to deliver them. It is a highly covert mission. I've got them stuffed into the Whole Foods bag shown above. I know if other teachers see me with a bag o' Lumbers, they'll want one, then word will get out.
Lumber voodoo dolls don't just grow on trees, people! Not only that, but they are special prizes for the elite few. If they start showing up everywhere in the school, they lose their exclusivity, their sparkle.
So I go to deliver the Lumbers. Pray for my safe return.