Tuesday, February 14, 2012

first things

"Love is being stupid together"  --  Paul Valery

I met Magnum in college (woo, real original...).  At that time, he lived in a garden-level apartment that was in a prime location in that very college town.  He often tells the story of getting that place.

He was fresh out of the army and looking for a place to live close to campus.  This apartment was part of a large house on "The Hill" - prime student housing locale.  It was the first place he checked, and he told the landlady he'd like to move in.  She told him to go look some more. 

"So you know how good this one is".

He did and did.

I sometimes think I should've used the same tactic as the landlady.  See, I was Magnum's first "real" girlfriend.  Oh, he'd had  a few prior "run ins" of the I-don't-want-to-be-stuck-home-on-Prom-night variety, or the make-my-ex-jealous variety, or the I-like-free-food variety, or just the plain old I'm-desperate-and-have-other-issues variety.  "Long term" is not a phrase that would apply to any.  "Relationship" is even quite a stretch.

As for me...

Like the landlady, I'd had a few prior "renters".  I'd had the teen love/broken heart drama.  I'd had the long distance drama.  I'd had 2 marriage proposals and an almost drama.  I'd even had one What?-Married?!-"open marriage"-WHAT?!? drama. 

Then there was the assortment of others that just didn't last out of bad timing or whatever.  Yes, I suppose I had enough relationship baggage for the both of us.  By the time we got together, nothing much fazed me.  And with him, it was easy.

I never feel unappreciated, but sometimes I remember that landlady's words of wisdom and wonder if I should've told him to "go look some more, so you know how good this one is". 

Contrast can be good... on Valentine's day.


  1. Nice read xD Happy Valentine's day ^^. Also, that's an interesting quote, I'm sure there must be some truth to it xD.

    1. Happy Valentine's Day Shawnte! I think there's definitely truth to the quote in our case. It's helped our longevity.

  2. I sometimes feel unappreciated, but I think I more than make him pay for it with my moods. And amazingly, he hangs around and puts up with them year after year.

  3. Yes, after 20+ years of marriage, they occasionally need a reminder of how good they got it. (Ok, I admit that I do too.) There are times we take each other for granted, or view each other as co-workers instead of husband and wife. But we try to have dates and get-aways whenever we can, so that we are able to appreciate each other again.
    And how DO they put up with our moods? :)

  4. Sounds rather familiar - we have been together for 26 years. My first real relationship, while my wife had a 6 month failed marriage under her belt. We were perfect from the start.

  5. Same old story here. We fell for each other in college as well. After 30+ years, we are still getting used to each other.

  6. There are two photos in our wedding album, both from just before we met each other. Vern is judging some type of silly contest and holding up part of a sign that reads "We can be bought". In the other I am at a party with a bunch of ski bums, and looking a little seedy. I wrote under the photos "We met each other just in time." Vern had lived with someone for five years, had a few short and weird relationships since. He is six years older than I. I had almost given up on relationships after a two year string of disappointments and was determined to concentrate on my studies. Ha. I think we have been grateful to have each other ever since, although there have been times...well, you know.

    I appreciate your candor! Hope your Valentine's Day did not disappoint :)