Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I did

Several years ago, a neighbor friend and I used to walk our dogs together. One day she told me that her 30th wedding anniversary was coming up. "Wow, thirty years", I commended her, "What's your secret?"

She pondered a moment and then, "Welp, every time I wanted a divorce, he didn't.  Every time he wanted a divorce, I didn't". 

Well... OKAY THEN!

Recently, I read an article by a woman advocating for term limits on marriage.  I should link it, but I don't remember where it was...   She cited the high divorce rate, and the fact that our courtrooms are already overcrowded.  Plus, divorce is expensive.  Why not just have term limits?

Her thought was, when the term is up, both can either walk away clean, or decide to "renew".  Much like we renew our driver's licenses, why not the same for the marriage license?  I don't recall what happens with property and children.   I thought it pretty outside-the-box. 

She posed an interesting question, though.  She pondered how many couples have stayed married because daily, they choose to stay married vs. couples who stay married just because they GOT married. 

Magnum signing his life away

In some ways, it seems like forever ago when Magnum and I got married.  And it's safe to say that we are in the "choose daily" bucket.  Today, I ran across another similar blog post asking if marriage was becoming obsolete.   I admit that I've wondered this one myself, partly because I've got a bit of a rebellious non-conformist streak.  I wonder, why do I need a government issued license for love?  Well, technically I don't.  I just need one for marriage.

We're in the midst of our 22nd year.  If someone asked me my secret to staying married, what would be my answer? 

(a) I love him
(b) He fixes stuff around the house for free
(c) He's warm and winters are cold
(d) Divorce was invented by lawyers, and I refuse to let them win!
(e) All of the above

What do you think?  Term limits?  Is it all obsolete?


Anonymous said...

I have been married almost 21 years and my vote is for "all of the above". But especially the "he's warm and it's winter...." He will actually lay on my side of the bed while I am brushing my teeth, so that when I come to bed it's nice and warm, and he has to go to the cold side. If that's not love....

terri said...

I don't think I like the idea of term limits. There are already enough people jumping into marriage without really thinking about it. Look at the Kardashian fiasco. And now Katy Perry and Russel Brand. They gave it a whopping 14 months before deciding it couldn't work. I don't really think term limits are going to do us any favors.

Mary Lou Rosato-Caine said...

I guess term limits is a practical way to go. Yet I think it then becomes too easy; you will always run into a few rough patches,
and if you know your term is due to come up, say in 6 months or a year, maybe you don't try as hard to keep it going? Larry and I have been together for 24 years. I guess I must really like him :)

I like your picture, the two of you look so cute! Hey weren't you signing your life away too? Good Read!

Rock Chef said...

Mrs RC and I had been living together for 16 years when we got married. We took our 4 kids along, had a simple ceremony (which some friends and relatives gate-crashed) and went home for a party.

I think the thing that is out dated is the huge wedding that costs as much as a small house. Keep it small and simple and use the money for something more important. If you love each other you don't need a £5000 wedding dress.

agg79 said...

In my book, marriage is not a part time deal. There are already too many people out there with the "Let's test this out for a while to see if it sticks" approach. Term limits may sometimes work in politics, but I don't think marriage is the right place. If we are heading that direction, why not a contract renewal? After 10 years, you can always option to extend for another 10 or play the free agent field? As for us, we're in it for the long run. We've been married for 31+ years and stay together for pretty much the same reasons plus a few:

f) It's too expensive to get the new model
g) I won't get anything for my trade in
h) We're both too old to learn new tricks
i) We'd have to change our Christmas card greetings