Thursday, January 8, 2009

all I want for Christmas

The kids went back to school today. It's SO quiet. Hello? HELLO???

Anyway, I was reading about toothpaste and teeth whitening over at beej's. It got me thinking about teeth. One of the things I managed to mark off of my "to do" list over the winter (don't call it Christmas) break was getting all of the kids in for their dental checkups.

I myself, am overdue for a checkup, but I think I've spent my fair share of time in a dentist chair. I've mentioned here in passing that my two front teeth are fake, and I recall actually rehashing the whole ordeal once, a long time ago in a blog far far away.

Suffice it to say that, when I was 11 years old, I was riding skateboards with my friends one minute, and the next, I was involuntarily trying to eat the street. I've never seen my mom freak out like that before or since.

Several dental appointments later, I had earned a "million dollar smile, or close to it" and I think the dentist put an addition on his house. But at least I could eat apples and fried chicken again.

Then again, about 6 years ago, my dentist said one of the crowns needed to be replaced. He went on to explain that since there had been such great advancements in the realistic look of front crowns, I should have them both replaced at the same time so they would match. That made sense. Extra money for him too, yeah, but it made sense about the whole symmetry thing. My mouth.

So, I guess figuring that he had managed to tack on the extra crown so may as well get more, he told me I should have a complete whitening treatment at the same time to make the rest of my teeth match my pretty new crowns.

Hold the phone.

Hadn't he just got through telling me that the new and improved crowns of today looked so real? Ultra white teeth don't look real. I declined the whitening treatment and told him I wanted crowns that looked real. I think he was bummed.

I remember the dental assistant telling me that they were going to make me look like a "Movie Star!" She never mentioned any specific names though. *ahem*.

My falsies. Do they look real?

So now I've got new-and-improved-coffee-and-tea-stained-hold-the-whitening-treatment real looking front crowns.

The Dentist and his wife went on a cruise shortly afterward.


  1. Any time you put sabotage as one of your labels, I crack ALL the way UP.

    And yes, they DO look real. Nobody would know the difference if you'd QUIT TELLIN'! :-)

    When Litkia gets braces...I'm thinking about getting some too. I had them before but then had my wisdom teeth pulled (all 4) and everything shifted. Vanity thy name is Beej.

  2. You are so fortunate. Your teeth look wonderful! I was "mutilated" by a dentist when I was a kid. Just because my eye tooth was starting to grow over the top left of my center two teeth *like yours that are capped* the dentist pulled it. I have only one eye tooth.

    My parents couldn't afford braces for me. I have never been in the position financially to afford braces for me, so at almost 56 yrs. young, I have what I have. I try not to be jealous of people who, like you, are SO fortunate to have such beautiful smiles, but the human in me makes me jusy a teeeeensy tiny jealous ...

    They look ravishing darling ... absolutely raaa'vishing!

  3. Back to school...mid-week?

    What is that all about?

  4. You have a beautiful smile and yes, they look completely real! Their shape match your other teeth perfectly and I would've never guessed!! :)

  5. WHen I was like 5 I knocked like 8 or 9 of my teeth out.

    I got bracer from a othrodont'tstickthosehairyfingersinmymouthist. Man that was nasty, why didn't dentist where gloves pre aids anyway.

    Me and 2 of my sisters got them at the same time, and shortly after his daughter whom i didn't like got a car for her 16th birthday. urgh.

    Plus every dentist i go to tells me he ruined my teeth.

    Oh to answer your question they look real. but i prefer this game when women ask about other fake parts :-)

  6. Dahling! You look MAHvelous! I would never know they were falsies.

    I think my kids' dentist/orthodontist paid for his sailboat with my money. We saw him once while on vacation at Lake Superior. Mark asked if I wanted to see where all our money was going and pointed out this MASSIVE gorgeous sailboat next to which was standing the dentist/orthodontist. Sigh.

  7. Dazzling smile.

    May have cost you an arm & leg but the results were worth it.

    All my money when to my son’s orthodontist and he has an award winning smile to show for it.
    Just remember to keep your mouth closed when doing those long distance runs. Wouldn’t want to see bugs on the grill.

  8. What a set of Teefies! They is beautiful! I think them toofies is ready for Sexy Teefs of Da Rich & Famous Calender!

    Can I have your autograph!??? Free? I mean, I have known you for a while, and that in itself should entitle me to a free autograph, right? right? Ok, then how about a copy of your autobiography? and why do they throw "auto" on "biography" anyway - its still a "biography" isnt it? "Auto" doesnt mean "Anout self" - its short for automobil, or automation, or automatic - and autobiographies have to be written be it electronic or manually by pen or pencil. Nothing automatic about that and ya cant drive it nowhere.. Alright - I'm shutting up now.

  9. you have a great smile; mine is terrible even WITH 2 bonded (fake) inciscors