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Friday, September 19, 2014

the (un)great outdoors

AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!     (Or however that's spelled)


At the risk of being repetetive...





I got stung by a  [censored]  bee yesterday.













This one got me square in the chest.  Right between the...  Where once there was a paltry excuse for a cleavage, there is now a third boob.  I swear, I can cup the damn thing.

I don't know what's going on.  What's gotten into these bees?  And why are they using me for their suicides?

There are other regulars on the bike path that I've come to expect.  We share familiar "hello"s and such as we pass each other, but that's it.  I don't know any of them personally, but I'm really curious as to if any of them have been similarly suffering this summer.

Well, I may never know.

In the meantime, I do want to express a bit of apology.  This latest violation occurred as I was happily travelling on the goose poop course.  So I'm sorry for any sullying of virgin goose ears that occurred during my uncensored response.

.

17 comments:

Furry Bottoms said...

You must be sweeter than anything else on the path. Bees like that, you know. Also, if you wear perfume, you'll be a target. If you smell flowery, they may think you're a flower.

Abby said...

I am wondering if it's something about me personally. Maybe they like my sunscreen? Hmmm... bee stings or carcinoma, what to choose...

Betty said...

Ouch! Mash some cucumber and smear it on. It will help cool the pain. That really sucks!

Pearl Burrows said...

If you are being stung on the same trail there may be a hive of Africanized bees around that area.

Abby said...

Thanks Betty, I'll set to mashing!

Abby said...

Really? I've been stung 3 times in 2 weeks, but they've all occurred pretty far apart from each other. I wonder what the range of a single gang... hive.... is?

Riot Kitty said...

WTF!! They must really like you. So sorry. Surgery is probably sounding like a less painful way to get more boobs.

Abby said...

Right?! Be careful what you wish for...

Anonymous said...

What is it with you? Or them? Or whoever is behind this suicide mission? It's time you start stinging back!

terri said...

Maybe you should get yourself one of those bee-keeper suits with helmet and face mask. Just until the first frost...?

Guano said...

Crimony -- those bees really have it out for ya!

Abby said...

Maybe I'll put a bug spray mount on my bike!

Abby said...

That's starting to make actual sense. Either that or full-body kevlar!

Abby said...

If it weren't for the lingering effects, I'd be okay with it - as I sit here with about a half gallon of bee jello sloshing around my torso.

Ginny said...

Seriously what is going on here! The bees are just out to get you :(

Marcy said...

Oh man--you are breaking some serious odds, unless there is some reason you haven't figured out, like an aroma. Or maybe you've had your share for a good, long while.

Pearl Burrows said...

I"m not really sure how far they range from their hive, but I know you don't want to mess with them. We have them down here in Arizona.