Monday, December 30, 2013

how big?

It's not like I was looking for it.  Not actively, anyway.  I was just... y'know... a little curious.  It'd been a long time since I was with anyone else.

So, I just had a little time on my hands, and this voice in my head directed me to the online ads.  I figured I'd just lurk around.  I confess now that I've done that before, and honestly, never found anything even remotely interesting.  It seemed to be all stuff for the younger crowd, or for old men...

But that voice was persistent.  And so I looked.  And I saw.  I saw something rare.  A perfect match?  Could it be?  Online?  Magnum was just upstairs.  What would he think if he knew what I was doing?

After reading the profile information, my curiosity grew and, next I knew, I hit the message button.  I had just one question:  how big?

I hit "send".

... and got no response.

I went to bed that night thinking it wasn't meant to be.  No response.  I should just forget about it.

But the next morning, I couldn't help it.  It was like some other brain was directing my hand as I returned to that specific ad.  It was still there.  Calling to me.  There was a phone number and a name.  I decided I would try that, and if I got a voicemail, I'd forget it and move on.

I dialed.   He answered.  And it wasn't voicemail.

So again I asked, "How big?"

His answer made me weak in the knees.

I got directions to his house.  He lived in the mountains.  I could be there in 45 minutes.

I didn't lie to Magnum.  I confessed everything.  I confessed that I'd just gone there to look around.  I confessed that I'd been there looking around before, but had never found anything that caught my eye.  I confessed how this one almost seemed to be waiting for me.  Me.  It was destiny.

He understood.  What a guy.  I left, and assured him I would be back.

I found the house.  Ellie Mae and I climbed and wound our way through the snow and hills to reach this mountain destination.  From the phone conversation, I learned that people there didn't get out much.  They stayed inside for their... activity.

I just had to see for myself.  The size.  I had to see it!

And there she was

"It's a size SMALL.  My wife is 5'5", and only rode it a few times for our at-home spin class until she got the stationary bike she likes better"

Was he kidding me?!  Never let this beautiful creature outside??  Fricken' SPIN CLASS?!?

Well... she's been  OUTSIDE   now, KNOW  WHAT  I'M  SAYIN'?!

I'm 5'5" and I go  OUTSIDE.  And it's gooooood.

Blog, meet Alice.  Alice, meet the blog.


  1. Ooh. Be still my heart. It's a small. And it's a Giant, flat spokes and all. Dyin' to get outside, ready to get real dirty.

    Hottie to the Max.

    1. Took her outside this morning for a real ride (the test ride roads were too short!). She was like a wild woman been locked up too long! Let's just say there's a new Queen o' the Mountain on the leaderboard. Small dirty Giant!

  2. Welcome, Alice!

    She's a beauty, alright! I'm looking forward to tales of your adventures with her in the coming year.

  3. Destiny. Good for you. Hello, Alice.

    1. A pleasant surprise for the end of the year :)

  4. So funny--wishing you many happy times together :)

  5. OK you totally got me! Looks like fun :)

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  7. Well, hellooo Alice. Aren't we a fetching sight? I can see she was just waiting for you.