Wednesday, September 26, 2012

do you miss me??

Has anyone ever said, "When I grow up, I want to be a human resource"?

I don't think that thought ever occurred to me, and yet, here I am!

I actually have a day off today - well, except for crossing guard.  Sometimes I forget that that's a "job", but they keep paying me the big bucks every month, so I guess it is.  In return, I'm required to occasionally prove that I am both human and a resource.

So I had to go up to the school today and be trained in various human resource matters.  I now know not to do drugs while in the crosswalk, among other things.

I was there with June and brand new crossing guard, Eli.  Eli is a funky young guy in his early 20's.  He also works part-time for school maintenance - mostly as a groundskeeper.  Anyway, he showed up wearing a fedora to accentuate his hideous vest, a look that works for him.  I need to get cracking on his graphic persona.

The three of us were sitting there in little chairs in the computer lab at school, clicking through our respective Power Points, when in marched a class of kindergartners for their computer time.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the kindergartners.

It's the kindergarten curriculum...

I was sitting there reading about all the grey shades of sexual harassment when the teacher turned on some AWFUL music to learn the alphabet by.  And it was loud LOUD LOUD!  Dang, I was really getting into the sex harassment presentation too.  Eli, June, and I looked at each other, silently conveying "I can't STAND this racket, can you?!?  This is why we work OUTSIDE!!"

I put on a pair of nearby headphones, and the other two followed my lead.  The earphones did absolutely nothing to filter out the cacophony.

I understand that the military does stuff like that as a form of torture.  Now I know why.  I, for one, would totally cave.

I somehow managed to get through all of my training.  There were 5 modules in all, but I don't remember anything after sex harassment.  I quicked logged off and got the heck out of the torture chamber.  Before leaving school, I thought I should check my much-neglected staff mailbox, which was stuffed.  For one, I got another school t-shirt that had been sitting since day one.  Yay!  Just in time for the cold weather.

Also among the mail was a "missing child" ID card of me.  (?)

Have you seen this child?

The photo company that does the school pics provides these ID's for each child at school, but this was a first time I got one of me.  

I assume the whole staff got them?  Since we had our pics taken by the same company, and they just crank out ID's for the entire school?  

Or do they just know that I might need looking after?


lotta joy said...

I need one of those with my address on it. I know that if I'm ever taken to the hospital and asked "where do you live?" I'd give my prior address of 60 years then immediately be placed in the alzheimer's unit. So I NEED my address tattooed somewhere.

Jimmy said...

That ID is actually a good idea, sometimes we need looking after and as lotta joy said if I were taken to the hospital I most likely would give my NM address, and Lord knows I don't want to be shipped back there Ha Ha

Don't you just love all of the training episodes you have to endure, that is one thing about work I don't miss.

ShadowRun300 said...

I used to BE the kindergarten computer teacher... and the noises did make me a little crazy. When the teenagers came in, however, it turned to complete silence.
If you can make it through a mud run and an angry bear attack, I'm pretty sure you don't need looking after... but better safe than sorry.
PS: don't forget about Eli's graphic persona! I'd love to see how he fits into the team.

Rock Chef said...

IMO, Barney the Dinosaur should be used as a form of torture...

That card is funny - is this your way of telling us that you are still stuck in 5th grade? :-)

agg79 said...

And we wonder sometimes about our kid's taste in music. It all goes back to what we heard/learned in kindergarten.

I've done a number of those on line HR training sessions. I think the missing id is a great idea for kids and human resources alike.

Tony LaRocca said...

At least you know you're safe if you ever get lost! I can deal with almost all forms of children's music, with the exception of Barney (shudder.)

Abby said...

It's funny, I used to operate a daycare. Barney was a daily companion. Apparently absence really doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

Abby said...

Maybe I'll tape that ID to the pole at the crosswalk - next to the garage sale signs and lost pet notices.

Abby said...

Actually, I was thinking more like 4th grade.

Abby said...

Walking kids across the street and slogging 5k's through mud is easy compared to being in that computer room. Are kindergarteners hard of hearing or what?!

Abby said...

They gave me two IDs. In case one gets lost? With me? Training wasn't that bad, for us resourceful humans.

Abby said...

Maybe we could just insert a chip?

Duble said...

no ever said when i grow up i want to be an irs agent either, heck no has ever woke up and though yea, today i get to work for the irs

Duble said...

also, who do you give your card too?