Monday, August 20, 2012

out with the old, in with the not-so-new

Over the weekend, as Chaco piled goods that I would be paying for into our shopping cart, he chattered incessantly about his college experiences so far.  Since he'd only been there a few days, and real classes hadn't even started yet, these experiences consisted mostly of getting to know his orientation group and his dorm roommates.

One roommate is his good friend Andrew.  He and Andrew arranged it so they would share a dorm, and left it to the roommate gods to choose the two others that would make up their suite.  I mentioned here that, on moving day, I met one of them.  I described him as "pleasingly nerdy".

As Chaco chattered, one piece of information he fed me was, "Matt has Asperger's".

Oh, really.

Recall that our very own Magnum has Asperger's.  Now, when we met, I'd only ever heard of hamburgers.  Same for him, pretty much.

He was notably shy, quiet, didn't make a whole lot of eye contact.  To be honest, at one point when I realized he liked me liked me, I figured it would never go beyond friendship because he would never get the nerve to ask  me out.


Anyway, over 24 years later, here we are.  I won't say that being married to an Asperger man is easy, but at the same time, I don't think Magnum's Asperger's fully defines him.

I was kind of glad when Chaco told me about roommate Matt.  The "quirkiness" I'd picked up on during our brief meeting made sense.  Apparently, he just flat out stated that he had Asperger's and wanted them to know in case they had any questions.

"You know Dad has Asperger's", I reminded Chaco.

"Yeah", he said, "it's like autism, but not"

"It's like 'Autism-lite", I replied.

"Matt's a little socially awkward, but a nice guy", Chaco summed up.  "Andrew notices more than I do, but he'll get used to it".

I'm glad the roommate gods put Matt in with Chaco and Andrew.


  1. Whether it's just a nice coincidence or fate, it's going to make Matt's first year of college so much easier having a roommate who gets him.

    Looked up Asperger's symptoms. A lot of them fit my middle child. Makes me wonder... Of course, a lot of them could fit many of us.

  2. Sometimes things seem to just fall in place - like they were meant to be. Makes me think Chaco's first year of school is going to go very well, from everyone's perspective. Yours included, since you won't be worried about peer pressure from his roommates. :)
    We actually researched Aspergers when trying to understand our older son. He hasn't officially been diagnosed, but he definitely has a lot of the symptoms. Perhaps if we learn more, we can better help him. If I were Matt's mom, I'd be very thankful he found roommates like Chaco and Andrew.

  3. Mag and I used to joke about his "differentness". It wasn't until I had a job as a teaching assistant in the Sped dept. that I learned about Asperger's and the light went off. We found a specialist here in town and she tested him.

    As I remember, NT's (Asperger lingo for people who don't have it) score around 7. Asperger people score around 14. Magnum scored a 17, overachiever that he is.

    Knowing about Matt now, I would've liked to have talked more with his mom. She was in the dorm also on move-in day, and she did seem a bit anxious.

  4. Wow. Talk about providence. What are the odds of finding that kind of common link. Maybe it is fate that Andrew and Chaco were paired up. I'm sure their first year together on campus will be memorable.

  5. The only Aspergers I've witnessed is when I watched BOSTON LEGAL and one of the lawyers had it. I wish you would give more details of the differences you and your husband adapted to after getting married.

    1. I've never seen Boston Legal. But I think Asperger characters are showing up more in mainstream fiction. And certainly, you can watch right here for non-fictional accounts of The Real Housewives of Aspergerville!

  6. Another reason why I like blogging... real people, real issues, honest thoughts and opinions.

    Chaco's situation has opened another door. I'm sure that good and useful things are inside.