Monday, January 23, 2012

yeah... about that, part III

Welcome to another installment of the Life Coach Chronicles.  Part I and Part II  tell how I ended up here - in the throes of sessions with a life coach.

I spent 2 months with my coach.  Our sessions were each scheduled a week apart.  Have a session - digest for a week - have another session - digest for a week...  I thought that worked pretty well.

I never really knew where a coaching session would go.  She would ask me questions, and then based on my answers, she'd ask more questions - all the while providing insights.  Sometimes I had trouble answering.  Sometimes my answers surprised me.  Sometimes the inner critic BIOTCH tried to join in.  Often, the session would go somewhere else entirely than what I'd expected. 

And there was homework, but good homework.  One of the first "assignments" I completed was a 16" x 20" painting of the kids.  My coach never said, "your homework assignment is to paint a 16" x 20" portrait of your kids", but rather the session had led us to where I decided it would be good for me to "create an artwork that was bigger than 9" x 12"".  Because of some other discussion we'd had, I chose to do an acrylic portrait with all 3 kids as victims. 

Who's next, Bill Gates?
And to my surprise, THEY actually liked it.  I expected them to be all, "Aw, Mom, don't paint us!"  But, they in fact, liked it enough that it now hangs in the prestigious position just above the XBOX.

But we didn't harp on the art thing.  As coaching progressed, art still remained mostly a hobby for me.   As parents, a lot of us put our desires secondary to the rest of the family's.  The artplay is just the results of much needed "me time".   I needed to get comfortable with doing other "me time" things.

And nothing was heavy-handed or rigid.  My coach would often ask, "So, what do you think your homework should be?"  Or sometimes, unexpected revelations would come up, and she would ask, "Would you like to coach on that now?"

One really helpful assignment was for me to list 10 "boundaries" - or things I would not tolerate.  My list includes accepting labels for myself and others, hypocrisy, and what I call "the TGIF mentality" among other things. 

After completing that, my next assignment was to list 10 "must haves" - things that energize and motivate me.  I've got physical exercise, music, and creating art, among other things.  I highly recommend brainstorming these lists for yourself.  Be as nurturing and as naughty *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* as you want!

And as these sessions went on, I noticed that I felt different.  I felt better - more confident, more relaxed.  The different buckets in my life  were improved too.  I thought I was a better teacher, a better mom, a better wife, a better friend.  I also think my artwork and writing improved.  In the midst of this, I joined a local writer's group and jumped on NaBloPoMo to enjoy the challenge of blogging every day.

Before this, I was restless and feeling stuck and thinking that my life was passing too quickly.  It's kind of funny, looking back now.  I thought a life coach would help me find a "job".   Now, I've got inspired plans.  In some ways, I can't do them quickly enough.   I know it's not for everybody, but working with a coach was worth it for me.  As long as I remembered to keep a sense of humor too, and not take myself too seriously!

Let's share some links,shall we?

Here's my coach's site.  Tell her Abby Normal sent you and she will ...   "What??"

Then there's the site with the helpful questionnaires

I read and learned from this book, as the author was Coachly recommended. 

TED  has a lot of interesting talks on a variety of subjects.

Okay then?!  Carry on, my waywards!
(... there'll be peace... don't you cry no mo'... GUITAR SOLO!)

"Never wait until you are good at something before you start doing it.” - Brent Kelly


Anita said...

I like the quote at the end. I Googled Brent Kelly, and not surprisingly, found many. Is he someone we should know?

Sooo... you're finished with the Life Coach. It sounds like it was a successful run. As you begin to implement what you've learned, I hope it'll add up to something you can look back on years from now as a life changing experience.

Keep us up-to-date with the things that resulted from it all. :)

terri said...

I just downloaded a preview of the book to my Nook. I'll probably buy it and start with that. Not sure if I'll do the coaching thing, but I am highly intrigued. There's been a noticeable difference in you since you've had this life-coaching experience. (Yes, it's obvious even through the online universe!) I think it's obvious I've always enjoyed our online friendship. But your personality has really ... not sure how to describe it ... really bubbled over since your life coach experience. It's clear that you are enjoying and experiencing life more. It's inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing all that you have about it.

"Abby" said...

Anita - I honestly don't know who Brent Kelly is specifically, but I like the quote. And thanks for your encouragement, it always means a lot!

Terri - I'm trying to think how long we've been cyber friends, and I'm drawing a blank. No matter how long, I'm grateful for it!

agg79 said...

I applaud your drive to better yourself. The first step on a long road is realizing what you are missing and setting your sites upon your objectives. I think your coach has done a great job of giving you the focus/inspiration/drive to take the next steps. And I agree with Terri - you've opened up a bit more since your coach has inspired you. How else would we have known about your life of crime? Thanks for sharing your journey.

ShadowRun300 said...

I am certainly going to check these links out, but I want to be in a better mood first. (Unless you think these'll put me in a better mood- lol)I am so pleased that your life coach was worth it, but you put a lot into it yourself, so pat yourself on the back. And your portrait of the kids?? Above the XBOX?? That's the biggest compliment ever! Well done! :)