Monday, September 20, 2010


What I actually wrote:

Dear Coach (of x-country),

Wolfgang didn't have transportation to Black Forest on Saturday 9/18. He ran 5 miles on his own.

Abby Normal

What my mind wrote:

Dear Coach (of x-country),

Neither my husband nor I was the least bit willing to drive Wolfgang 35 miles in order for him to run a 5-mile shake out run with the team on Saturday 9/18. He ran a perfectly good shake out run by simply going out the back door and returning 5 miles later.

Although there was breakfast at someone's house later, we suspect this is just a ploy by you to get lots of free food during x-country season, cleverly disguised as "team building". In my high school days, team building consisted of diligently straining and striving and struggling and sweating and toiling and exerting with my teammates. It was running up hills while carrying a large rock in each hand. It was running down dirt trails while right on the cusp between control and complete lack of control. It was crashing and falling in the cinders. It was blisters. It was scabs. It was occassionally holding each other's hair... just in case. It was the natural bonding that occurs between teammates who win together or lose together or suffer together and scar their knees together. All of that to be followed by water from the spicket, nothing more.

Not breakfast at someone's air-conditioned home and photos snapped by cell phones that get uploaded on facebook pages after.

Abby Normal

Okay, maybe my mind got a BIT carried away... but the first paragraph stays.


  1. I'm pretty sure you weren't really sincere about all those Xs and Os at the end there either. Unless that's code for a particular finger salutation...

  2. I'm not buying all of the Xs and Ox there but I do get the message loud & clear. I sense a wee bit of pent up agnst there but I do like your style of team building.

    To quote Shane Falco: Pain heals, Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever....

  3. Teams: they just don't make 'em like they used to.